Sugar and Spice
by nutmeg17
Summary: When castiel's vessel changes gender, How will Dean and everyone else react to the sight of Cas in female form. will Dean start to miss Cas' male vessel? or will the new female form of cas be easier for his emotions to deal with, please review xxx
1. Chapter 1

Dean and Sam were sitting in the library sifting through countless old and dusty books dean personaly didnt see the point they knew it was a demon but Sam still insisted that research was an important part of hunting. There was silence between them it was a comfortable silence they weren't mad at each other they just had nothing to say and were too busy researching to talk. Well Sam was to busy Dean had read the same line around 12 times already. He was not feeling the research buzz-did he ever, unlike this brother who was ploughing through his pile of books.

"I wonder where Cas is."

"Huh?"

"Cas, he said he would be a day or so, it's been what a week?"

"Dean he'll be fine, if you're that worried about him, call him."

"No I'm not worried but concern, no I'm not concerned just worried, maybe kinda wondering it's just well he said a few days."

Dean went red slightly at the sound of himself babbling.

"Yeah you're not worried. Just ring him."

Dean chuckled and shook that thought off; he wasn't going to just randomly call the angel to check up on his wellbeing, that would he weird. He called Cas when he needed him, and not for a chat. But then again he did need to know if he was okay. Dean got up having been in the stuffy town library for hours he needed a walk. Assuring Sam it not so he can call Cas he left.

"Sure whatever dude."

Sam commented as he left, not looking up from his book. As soon as Dean was in the street he took out his phone and pressed speed dial for Cas, it rang twice and Dean hung up loosing his nerve. He marched back to the motel, at least he planned to when he got to a diner he took note of how his stomach rumbled and he went inside.

By the time dean got back to the motel, Sam was waiting more him; he looked worried and slightly amused.

-X-

"Dude you are never going to believe this."

At this the bathroom door opened, and a young women came out in a towel, her skin glowed from the water that had not been dried properly not that Dean minded in the slightest, her dark brown layered hair fell long down shoulder with her fringe sticking to her forehead and her eyes were a striking turn-you-on-with-one-look blue.

"Hey."

Dean said to the women how moved over to the bed and draped a coat over her shoulders, but still in the towel, Dean wasn't going to pretend this wasn't sexy. Dean turned to Sam mouth curving into a smirk

"Ill leave you kids to it."

Dean turned to leave when he heard the women speak.

"Dean."

Her voice was low and husky, it was very sexy to hear,

"Yes darling."

"Dean please don't darling me, this is serious."

"Sorry sweetheart do I know you?"

The woman became very confused her lips pouted slightly and head moved carefully to one side, Dean knew that look. It wasn't till now that he noticed the coat was as oversized tan trench coat and those eyes how could he have mistaken those eyes.

"Cas?"

"Hello Dean."

"What? How? Huh? What the fuck!"

"Strange, that's what Sam said."

"Why are you a girl? Why are you half naked, in a towel and why are you wet?"

Deans eyes trailed over her well sculpted body she had smooth long legs and curves in all the right places. He coughed to distracted people from his gaze and to regain focus and continued talking.

"Why are you a girl?"

Cas shrugged,

"I don't know. I was on my way back when I blacked out, I supposed I was like it for days, then your phone call woke me, and I was this."

"Oh yeah, you won't call him Dean. Her."

Sam corrected himself as he got up of the sofa where he sat enjoying Dean's reactions.

"Fuck off bitch."

"Jerk."

"Okay so you what? Got sucked into another body?"

"No"

"Care to elaborate?"

"This is still Jimmy, it feels the same, it just looks slightly different."

"Cas how can you tell its still Jimmy?"

"Because Sam, he is my vessel. The placement of his organs, rhythm of his heart, energy of his brain are unique to each person I can feel that I am in Jimmy. I fit into Jimmy, this is still my vessel."

"So your still you, it's the vessel that was changed."

"Yes."

"But why?"

"I don't know."

Dean was completely bewildered. And stood their staring and Cas, while Sam went to his bed and continued searching the web for possible answers.

"Cas, where are your clothes?"

"I woke up and they were dirty."

Okay so it was totally mad and just Dean's sick mind but the way he heard Cas say 'dirty' was probably the hottest thing he has ever heard the angel say.

"Sam insisted take them off and shower, he then throw them away."

Okay so he stood corrected the thought of this woman naked in the shower with water running down her curves was the best thing he's thought about all day.

"Bet he had a quick peek as well."

This received a dirty look shot at Dean along with a well aimed pillow at Dean's head as the elder Winchester chuckled away, amused at the rise he got from his younger brother. Even through he was joking he wouldn't be surprised if he had looked.

"I'm okay in this."

Cas gestured to himself,

"Clothes never bothered me, I never paid much attention."

"Cas you have to have clothes you can't just walk around with nothing but a towel around your naked body."

Dean eyes glazed again he had to do something to distract him from this goddess of a woman this half naked angel standing in the middle of their motel room. So he decided on Sam, help Sam with research.

"Dean you have a point, she needs clothes."

"Well give Cas some of your private clothes you keep for a special occasions."

He gave Sam a wink who winced with embarrassment and disgust at the very thought.

"Dude you're sick!"

"Well..."

Dean started as he looked went threw his badly organised bag pulling out a dark t-shirt and handed it to Cas.

"Wear this, for now until we can get you proper clothes."

Cas took the t-shirt with a nod of thanks. She took of the trench coat and moved her hands up her body and gripped the sides of the towel

"Woooho!"

Cas stopped and looked up to Dean that was holding his hand in a stop position making sure he was not looking,

"What?"

"Do that in the bathroom Cas."

Cas looked from one brother to the next, both looking flustered and both averting their gaze. She could see how showing of her new human form in all its glory may be weird for the Winchesters so Cas took herself to the bathroom. Dean's eyes followed her until see disappeared behind the old wooden door.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam went out to get pizza so when Cas reappeared they were alone in the motel room. She looked amazing. Dean's t-shirt was obviously too big and went down to the middle of her thighs, her hair was still slightly damp and messy had fell down one shoulder, Cas had a pretty good rack on her as well who'd have thought it of the holy tax accountant, not that Dean noticed in the slightest of course. But the sheer size of them and her not wearing a bra meant the loose dark fabric fell in between her boobs outlining them slightly and making them look even bigger and Dean was so not complaining. By god she looked like she had sex hair, sex body she just looked like sex.

Not that Cas intended to have this effect, the change in gender made him slightly shorter and being smaller in frame than Dean in his male form meant as a female he got even smaller so the t-shirt was bound to be baggy. Her hair was messy because Cas was not accustomed to hair this length and probably didn't know what the function of a brush was. And her boobs well Cas had no control over them at all. She walked over to Dean how was laying on his bed, at the sight of her he became tense.

"May I sit down?"

Dean nodded he tried to speak but had no luck, she sat beside him and turned to the TV it was a weird show he was watching two women were launching themselves at each other whilst an excited crowd seemed to be shouting 'jerry!' over and over after a few minutes Cas' curiosity was overwhelming,

"I do not understand, they have a problem but it's not sorted out on this show it just seems to make it worse."

"It's entertaining Cas just relax and enjoy it. It makes our lives seem kinda normal."

Dean smirked as he spoke, as he did Cas' legs caught his eye as she was sitting the t-shirt road up and was now incredibility short, he stared at her long smooth legs for a while before looking back to the face of the angel, with soft features thin lips a slight ski jump nose and long dark lashes on top of those same striking deep blue eyes that seemed to be all the oceans of all the worlds masquerading as a pair of eyes just to torture Dean with their beauty, as they have done for years. When Dean looked up at this he found Cas staring at him, she had been watching him staring at her and she did not protest, probably did not understand.

"so do you like it?"

"I do not find it entertaining,"

Cas answered as she began to stare at the TV were some random audience member has suddenly started dancing with a pole and beads are thrown at people, there doesn't seem to be a reason for any of this.

"No, I'm mean being a girl instead of a guy"

"Dean, I'm an angel, I am neither, I have had female vessels before, once, a long time ago. This is after all a meat suit I care very little about what it looks like. The only thing I care about with this form is how it came to be"

"I see"

"which do you prefer?"

Dean coughed and cleared his thought, he didn't know what to say, well he didn't know what to say that didn't make him sound like a freak, a rapist, gay or like he is coming on to the angel.

"well, I, erm, I, I like both."

Cas turned from the TV which her eyes were clued from the fascination of it and looked at Dean. Both their eyes were slightly wide as the colours from their eyes sparked and came alive at the connection of green and blue.

"Thank you."

Dean smiled at her as he got up from the head and fetched a bear,

"You want one Cas? or let me guess you'll start drinking wine and drinks with colour and umbrellas."

Cas was confused at the reason why he soon genuinely wound up.

"Beer is fine."

Dean grunted as he turned to find another, he had no luck. Dean was holding the last bear, how could this be? They never run out of beer.

"Dean I am still me, Castiel. it's only the outter shell that is different. What's on the inside is the same."

Dean only heard half of this he was to busy frantically texting Sam to bring more beer.

"I see. Well there's only one beer left."

"It's okay, I'm not fussed."

"No, you wanted a beer; you can have some of mine"

"You would share your last beer with me?"

Cas was not really believing it, but she was touched and thankful for the thought even if he was joking, much to her surprise he chuckled slightly and fetch two glasses and poured equal amounts into both and gave a glass to Cas.

Cas stared at the golden brown liquid watched it bubble slightly and looked over at Dean, who had already drunk half of his. Dean kindness was strangely warming and made him want to smile, this was Dean's favourite beer and Dean loved beer, he seemed to drink it a lot.

"Come on drink up."

"Thank you Dean."

"It's no big deal."

With that Cas drank as he did heard Dean mumble.

"Sam's getting more anyway."

This made Cas smile as a bubble formed in his stomach and forced it way swiftly up and Cas released a small laugh a she drank, with that she managed to spilled the beer, over her face as she laughed into the glass.

"Well done"

Dean said sarcastically, but Cas didn't answer back she was to busy wiping her left eye, looking uncomfortable. Dean scooted over to her and took the glass put it on the side and turned his attention back to Cas.

"Easy, easy. Beer in the eyes a bitch, don't rub it."

Dean softly whispered as he touched her shoulder. Cas didn't listen 'typical woman' he thought amusingly to himself.

"Hey."

He whispered to her as he held one of her arms to stop her from rubbing her eye.

"Let me look."

Cas turned to face Dean as he cupped her smooth cheek, much smoother without his customary stubble he thought. He wiped the drops of beer off her cheeks very slowly and softly, while staring at her lips.

"Dean?"

"Yeah."

Dean was so quiet he was almost whispering.

"My eye."

"Yes, yes of course."

Dean was louder now, as turned slightly pink from the embarrassment he felt, Dean moved in close to Cas' face to look into her eye, he had no idea what he as doing but poor Cas was so trusting and naive when it came to small human things like this, what was she expecting him to pick the beer out. A breath hitched in her throat at the touch of the hunter that was surprisingly gentle and calming as he lightly pulled the skin under her eye. Dean ran a hand over the angel's cheek before stating;

"You'll live."

"Yes of course."

They continued to stare and smile at each other, as they stared Dean felt a warm familiar feeling in his gut. Dean and Cas were sitting so close they were basically on top of each other, with one hand on her face and the other on her slender neck and his face was cm's from hers, so close their noses were nearly touching. One of her hands was on Dean's thigh it was unintentional but Cas never saw fit to move it, the other was by her side. It was completely innocent, sort of. They were in a sort of freeze frame of an innocent friendly situation. when the sound of the impala suddenly roared through the motel room and attacked Dean's ear drums he leapt off the bed and stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.

When Sam came in he found Dean fidgeting putting his hands in his pocket then removing them, running his hand through his hair, whilst Cas was sat on the bed looking slightly shocked and very confused, Sam didn't really want to know what he walked into.

"Hey Sammy."

"Hey Dean, Cas."

Cas nodded at Sam then went to felt her beer as she began to drink Sam went to the old battered table and placed the pizza and beer on it, when he turned he saw that both Dean and Cas now had a glass of beer in their hands

"Dude you said there was no beer."

"There was only one"

"You shared it? Huh."

"What?"

"Nothing."

Sam was staring at Dean, he looked confused Dean never shared beer. He knew it had something to do with Cas being a girl, especially the whole glasses thing, where they could have easily shared a bottle. Sam decided not to bring it up, even though it was fun watching Dean squirm under his gaze.

"Well if I am not needed I will leave."

Cas said as she put an empty glass on the side and put her trench coat back on.

"What?"

Dean near enough shouted as he walked up to her.

"I said that ill be leaving."

"Stay."

"Why?"

"It's dangerous out there at night."

"Dean are you aware just how stupid you are? Cas can handle himself."

"Her, herself its different now, especially dressed like that"

Dean scanned over her again this time he was joined by Sam. They couldn't help it, he did make one hot chick.

"Yes but Dean she is still Cas."

"Dean, your brother is right. I can defend my self, I have the same strength."

"Yeah, but I still don't like the idea."

Sam laughed to himself thinking just how different Dean acted to Cas now he has boobs and a cute ass and how stupid and how ridicules he was being at the same time.

"Well if will please you I'll stay."

After a nod from Dean and an eye roll from Sam Cas sat on the sofa her posture was still stiff and rigid.

"Tomorrow we will get you some clothes"

Dean told the angel as he opened another beer.

"Thank you."

"Dean we have a case."

Sam reminded his brother with his best bitch face to date.

"Well you can handle it; it's a low level demon, Bobby's one phone call away as am I and Cas."

"Okay fine."

Sam settled with his pizza and laptop whilst Dean gave Cas another beer and sat next to the half dressed angel with his own beer and pizza and after flashing a quick smile to each other they continued watching Jeremy Springer. It had been a strange day.


	3. Chapter 3

By the time Dean woke the next morning Sam had already left the motel room, to continue the hunt, alone. Whilst Dean goes shopping to buy clothes for the hot angel. Sam couldn't help but thinkhe drew the short straw. But thinking about it, it would never have been him, it was always Dean when it came to Cas. It was always them, they had a…connection. Sam could never grasp and put into words what they had but now he was a she, it seemed easier to explain, they wanted to screw. Was that the same when she was a he? This lingered on Sam's mind for the entire day.

Dean opened his eyes to see Cas sitting on the sofa in very much the same position he left her in when he rolled into bed at around 4 in the morning. Her back was straight and shoulders stiff, she needed to relax.

"Morning Cas."

Dean sleepily acknowledged her as he got up and made his way to the bathroom. After his daily shower shave and wash, he got dressed and rejoined Cas who was standing in the middle of the room.

"Are we getting clothes now?"

"Wow Cas you almost sound excited, you really did turn into a girl."

"Dean I did not change gender just Jimmy did."

Dean's smirk was wiped of by Cas' seemingly angered voice, after all Cas has explained it several times that jimmy turned into a girl Cas has always been Cas, and has never been neither a male or female.

"Yeah, sorry. No not yet the malls not open, we could get breakfast."

"I don't need food."

"Well I do, so let's go."

They left the motel room and had to walk to find a diner because Sam held taken the impala, understandable but didn't stop the fact that Dean was going to kill him. They found a diner after a 5 minute silent walk. There were only a few locals in the diner all of whom gave them strange looks. Probably because Cas still hadn't brushed her hair and was wearing deans t-shirt obvious under the large open trench coat, it did look pretty suspicious. Cas didn't register this and looked confused whilst Dean smirked as he took cas into the booth away from prying eyes.

"Dean, why is every one staring at you?"

"Not me, you."

Cas opened his mouth to speak but was cut of by the waitress that came over,

"Morning kids what can I get you two."

Dean looked up to order she had frizzy white hair pulled back in a messy rushed bun, her eyes were blue, but not pure deep blue like Cas' they were just blue, there was nothing mesmerising or breath taking about them not like his angel, he also noted she had a tired 'its to early for this shit' look on her face.

"Yes erm one coffee and a short stake with a side of bacon."

"And what do you want darling."

It took a second or two for Cas to realised she mean her.

"Erm, nothing thank you."

"Sweetie it looks like you had a busy night you need something to keep your strength during the day."

Cas fortunately had no idea what she was on about and tilted her head and stared deep into the waitress' eyes whilst Dean chuckled to himself. She become uncomfortable and noted Dean's order down to avert Cas' eyes.

"Right okay ill be right back with your coffee."

After she left Dean couldn't help but laugh louder which just confused Cas more and even made her slightly frustrated, that she wasn't included in another unwritten joke that human seem to throw at each other all day long.

"Dean I don't understand."

"It doesn't matter Cas."

"Please tell me."

Cas' voice was near enough pleading it was so cute, even more now his voice became her voice.

"Calm down Cas, they just think we were together last night."

"We were."

"I mean together, together."

"We were together last night and Sam of course."

It was at this moment the waitress came back with the coffee, she couldn't have timed it worse if she tried, and she pushed away a smirk and decided to ask some questions.

"Who's Sam?"

Trying to sound casual.

"Dean's younger brother."

The waitress' mouth fell open she could not believe what she was hearing.

"huh…"

"its not like that!"

Dean threw his arms up in a surrender position and became very defensive, okay he could deal with people think he had sex with Cas, it wasn't a totally bad idea. But then throwing his brother into the mix was just so wrong, Dean had to say something.

"We just shared a motel room, different beds!"

"Okay honey if you say so."

She then left and Dean hide his face in his hands to hide the red colour his cheeks were flushing.

soon, cas started to catch guys attention, the angel after all was pretty hot. Abig muscled man in leather dark hair scraped back in a pony tail with an evil looking grin on his face, approached the table and turned his attention to Cas after scanning over Dean.

"hey sweetness."

"hello."

"wanna come with me for a ride?"

"ride?"

"On my bike."

"I have transportation thank you."

Dean had to step in at this point.

"Hey, piss off."

"And what are you going to do about it huh? So why don't you leave me and the little lady alone."

"why don't you just fuck off."

Dean stood and grabbed his arm but soon received a punch in the face, Dean flew back into the both and landed on his back. Cas got angry she didn't understand the situation that suddenly appeared out of nowhere but no one punches Dean. So she moved her arm back and punched him in the side of the face, not using her full strength because to be honest that would have killed him, although it was tempting she new he didn't quite deserved that.

But it was hard enough to make the guy stumble back and have pretend it didn't hurt because well the angel was a girl even though it really did hurt like hell and she probably broke his nose, the guy tried his best to laugh it off as tears filled his eyes.

Dean was now fuming, and stood up and with a bloodied nose he swung and punched the guy square in the face and knocked him to the ground, then throw $10 on the table for the food, he didn't get to eat. Grabbed Cas by the hand climbed over the guy squirming in pain and left the diner, everyone was staring completely in shock, but everone secretly loved the show the strange out of town couple gave them. it put the waitress in a better mood anyway. When they got outside Dean caught his breath.

"See what happened when you're a girl."

"I'm sorry."

"No its not your fault. Come the mall should be open now."

Then with out thinking he put his arm around Cas and with his hand at the small of her back he lead her away towards the mall. Cas didn't complain and walked drowning in the warm tingles she had shooting throw her body at Deans touch.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean and Cas both walked into the mall, it wasn't open long yet it was still bursting with shoppers most of them were women and many of these women were teenagers, being the school holidays it was an obvious place to go. but Dean was a little surprised that teenagers were awake at this time. But he supposed the urge to shop must be a big on, an urge that He did not share.

They made their way through the bustle of people, trying to find a clothes shop any one will do. Dean spotted one and dragged Cas to it. As they entered the shop called 'Primark' they were both blown away by the sheer amount of clothes they had to choose from. They both stood in the door way, Dean did not want to enter, he looked around at the mass of desperate women which usually he loved but they were desperate for clothes which Dean couldn't understand.

Castiel really didn't want to go near the shrieking girls that crowded the racks, even though the angel faced monsters and demons on a daily bases she thought they seem a little crazy and was slightly scarred of them, as was Dean, though he would never admit it. There lost expressions caught the attention of a petite red headed shop assistant, who came over and saved them.

"Hello my name is Amy, can I help you."

"Yes, she needs clothes."

"Okay, what kind."

"Every kind. She had none."

Dean gestured to Cas who held the sides of her coat revealing Dean's t-shirt.

"Oh I see, well we could start with pants and skirts?"

Cas then lent towards Dean and embarrassingly whispered something that made Dean snort it was so amusing.

"Erm, I think we should start at erm, underwear."

"Wow when you said she has no clothes you really meant no clothes huh."

Dean nodded and the two followed the baffled shop assistant up a flight of stairs. When they reached the top Dean wanted to turn and go back down at least downstairs it looked relatively normal down there. Here there were shoes every where and on the far side knickers and bars as far as the eyes could see.

Dean was not scared of underwear in fact he could and has, on numerous occasions undone a bra; blind drunk with one hand in the mist of kissing a woman, in record time, not to bad. But this was just too girly for him he did not want to be there. Amy saw that look in many men and she laughed a took his arm,

"Come on, we need a man's opinion."

Dean grumbled as he walked with Amy. Cas followed them slowly really not wanting to be there either. Amy looked around and moved to Cas taking her arm

"so, what's you name darling?"

"cast…"

"Cassandra"

Dean interrupted, the name Castiel would just be to weird for this girl, and she already thought they were barking.

"Okay well Cassandra what kind of knickers do you prefer?"

Dean winced at the thought of Cas trying of different kinds of underwear he really did not want that image printed on his mind, okay he did but knew he shouldn't. Cas was silent and Amy continued.

"Do you like, full brief, shorts, mini's, g-strings, thongs, them made out of silk, lace, cotton, satin?"

With each word the images became more and more vivid in Dean's mind. Cas shrugged again. Amy nodded and moved to a packet of respectful mini's they were lacy and colourful. She opened the packet and gave one to Casand held one herself, rubbing them between her forfinger and thumb, cas did the same.

"you see these are soft and feel lovely plus they look totally cute."

Dean was thoroughly embarrassed and looked in the complete opposite direction trying not to listen. It succeeded until he heard Cas say.

"Yes I like these."

Deans eyes widened he could not believe what he was hearing.

"Excellent, if you give them to your boyfriend he can hold the basket"

Dean spun around as both he and Caswent a little flustered.

"She's not my girlfriend."

"Oh I'm sorry sister?"

"No Dean and I are not related."

Amy was confused at the confrontation she got from such a passing comment.

"Cas and I are, are just…where's the basket?"

Dean looked from cas to amy to the floor and back to cas, unable to pulled away from her gaze until Amy smile and handed him the basket as she lent into Dean and whispered.

"The correct end to that sentence is 'in love' you know" she then turned to cas and looked her up and down "Now what's your size?"

With another shrug from Cas, she lead Cas to the measuring room she got measured for trousers, skirts, tops, bras everything. When Dean caught them up they were at the bras, he got there to hear

"…so as a DD you don't need a push up, your first thought should be support."

"I see."

"So which one do you like?"

Amy asked as Amy out the correct sized knickers in the basket. Cas looked and pointed at a purple lace bra that Dean thought she would look great in.

"Ooh good choice Cassie, and what about this?"

Amy pointed to a floral one and after a nod from Cas she put them both in the basket and proceeded to the tills.

"Since you want to buy other clothes, you should always try them on first and considering your not wearing underwear you should buy these first put them on then we can find you some more clothes."

"Alright. This way, come on princess."

Dean said as he dragged Cas to the tills and they stood in the line

"Dean are you okay?"

"I'm peachy 'Cassie', just a little worried at how much you are enjoying this while shopping thing."

"It's called making the most if things Dean, I am stuck in this female form I might at least be comfortable, because to be honest I feel uncomfortable wearing your t-shirt"

"Why? It looks good on you."

Their were having what can only can be described as a 'couples argument' finished as they both laughed and brushed that last comment off completely.

As Dean and Cas made there way downstairs with Amy in the front. Dean spoke to Cas.

"$25, £25! For what two bras and some underwear."

"Yes but its not exactly your money is it. And they are comfortable."

Cas comment on her newly supported breasts, Dean rolled his eyes and sat out for the rest of the shopping trip. Telling Amy that;

"I've had enough of shopping for one day so go on without me, Cas take this"

He handed Cas his credit card and Amy giggled and left taking Cas with her. When they got to the jeans she turned to Cas.

"So. You and dean?"

"I don't understand why that's a question."

"What's going on between you two, because you were really defensive when I said boyfriend, you both were. But I've seen the way he looks at you."

"It's just the vessel he likes, its got nothing to do with me on the inside."

Cas sounded quite sad at this, like she was close to tears.

"What a basted, but then again aren't all men like that?"

* * *

Dean was sitting in the same spot for 2 hours, two fucking hours! Then they finally emerged clutching dozens of bags. Dean walked up to them and took his credit card back, slightly shaking the card at her,

"I do not even want to know how much you've spent Cas."

Amy had a big grin and turned to Cas gave her a kiss on the check and wished them well. Dean took the bags off Cas, even though Cas is in fact the stronger of the two.

"Looks like you made a friend there Cas."

Cas merely shrugged and turned into another shop, Dean sighed completely regretting his decision to come here in the first place.

"By god what have I created."

Dean heart leapt when he followed her into the shop to realise it was the mall restaurant.

"thought you would be hungry. Come on."

She lead him to a table and they sat down Dean had a big smile on his face he could smell the food and his mouth was already watering. And it was Cas' idea to come here. his angel was really sweet and considerate sometimes.

"I fucking love you Cas."

He said not realising he said it, until he saw the red cheeks of Cas, and quickly took it back and reassured her,

"in a completely platonic friend way."

"I know."

Casreplied trying her best to sound breezy and amused by what he said and not crushed, as her voice came out high and quacky. As Dean was looking at the menu he looked once more a Cas who was looking around her taking in the surroundings,

"what happened to your hair?"

"Amy brushed it"

"huh, it er, it looks good"

Cas smiled and nodded to him thank him for the compliment. The waiter came over over and Dean ordered.

"yes, erm ill have a coffee"

"two coffees"

Cas added, Dean looked at her completely shocked as a smile krept onto his face, as Cas shrugged at him and he continued.

"erm ,yeah a bacon cheese burger please."

"and for you?"

The waiter turned to Cas.

"I ordered a coffee."

"okay, so you don't want food?"

"no thank you."

"okay."

With that the lanky blonde teenage waiter left. As they were waiting for their coffee's Dean lent in and jokingly commented,

"I thought my t-shirt was uncomfortable?"

"well now I'm wearing a bra its much more comfortable"

Dean went red slightly as the boy brought the coffees over and as he did he checked Cas out, who was of course oblivious, and when Dean cleared him thought caught the boys attention and gave him a firm 'you're dead' look, the boy soon got the message and hurried off.

Was Dean jealous people were looking at Cas? No that couldn't be, at least that is what he told himself. Dean Winchester does not get jealous.


	5. Chapter 5

Cas and Dean made their way back to the motel. It was a long day shopping and really did surprisingly take it out of them. When they got back to the room they were confronted by one on the last things they expected. Sam stood with a ripped shirt bloodied nose, bruised cheek and a large scratch down his chest that had already been bandaged. He was obviously fuming with anger and in a lot of pain.

"One call away! That's what you said! One fucking call away!"

"Jesus Sammy are you alright?"

Dean asked worryingly as dropped the bags and ran towards Sam. Who did not welcome his presence.

"Fuck of Dean."

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear my phone, are you okay?"

"Yeah, no thanks to you."

"Hey boys."

Said a familiar voice coming from the small kitchen area where Jo and Ellen sat at the table, was a few bruises and cuts of their own. When they had Deans attention Jo waved at him, and Sam pointed out the obvious.

"If it weren't for them I would be dead."

"Sammy I'm sorry."

"Whatever."

Sam walked away and sat on his bad with a beer, really not in the mood for any of this. All eyes followed him, as they did Ellen and Jo caught sight of the girl standing in the door way with deans t-shirt on, Jo got up and walk over to her.

"So dean who's your friend."

"That's Cas, you know Cas."

Jo couldn't help but laugh as her eyes widened.

"Okay you made a cute guy but you really do make one hot girl."

Ellen joined her daughter in laughing as the angel blushed; Dean came over all protective again.

"Leave it out girls, Cas they're only joking."

"Come on guys, were going to the roadhouse."

Ellen stated as she stood and straightened her shirt, it was in no way a request and no one was going to argue with her. Jo went over to Cas who was picking up all the bags from the floor.

"what's all this Cas?"

"clothes."

"did you steal them?"

"yes, dean paid with his credit card so we didn't pay."

"awww Dean took you shopping!"

Cas was confused at Jo sudden high pitched voice, and was startled lightly but Dean outburst.

"No! I didn't I went with her to a shop and got some much needed clothing for the angel."

"Same thing"

Jo laughed and help Cas pick up the bags and carry the to the car with the angel.

"no! no its not!"

Dean called after them sounding rather like a five year old, as Sam and Ellen stood smirking as how much he overreacted by the accusation. Jo climbed into the impala with Cas and the boys wanting to here all about the Cas' transformation story, so Ellen had to ride on her own, she didn't mind to much it just meant she could listen to her music without constant whining from Jo.

"So Dean, Cas, how was it?"

"How was what Jo?"

Dean asked looking at her smiling face in the mirror,

"Your first date?"

Dean swerved at this, nearly off the road.

"what the hell dude!"

Sam shouted as Dean got himself steady again, Cas was sitting next to Jo and kept quiet. As Jo giggled at Deans actions he got slightly mad,

"It. Wasn't. A. Date."

"Oh but I think it was!"

"no it wasn't."

Sam turned to face Jo

"Jo, I think you should drop it, at least while Deans driving. He could kick you out the car, I mean he's done it to me before."

"that's right, so shut it."

Jo folded her arms and decided to sulk, but she did amuse herself by thinking of the questions she will be asking Dean when they stop. As Dean drove he caught Sam's eye.

"Dude are we cool."

"for what leaving me to die."

"Sammy I'm sorry."

"yeah I know, its okay I'm fine. We're fine."

There was silence between them in the car.

Cas watched Dean through the mirror as he drove, he watched the movement of Dean's eyes on the road the way his jaw tensed every now and again, all it took was one look at Dean for Cas' stomach to feel funny, she didn't now how to explain it, every time see looked at him touched him anything, Cas could feel her vessels heart race and palms got damp as her stomach lurched and even the angels lungs ceased to work properly, Cas didn't understand it and wanted to ask someone but what confused her more is that it only happened with Dean, no one else.

Dean glanced back to Cas and unexpectedly found his eyes. Both were slightly embarrassed and tried to look away but both found it completely impossible. As soon as Cas' blue meet Dean's green they were both breathless and powerless to control their heart thumping and the way their inside moved and squeezed make them feel a little sick- in a good way.

They found it impossible to break the intense stare between them, it seemed to fill the car with tension and uncertainty. Deans lips curved into a cute half smile. Cas forced herself to look away, which would then allow Dean to concentrate back on the road, for fear of Dean crashing the impala Cas looked away, which initially seemed to hurt Dean, made him smile when he saw how flustered the poor angel was.

Dean unfortunately caught the eye of a smug looking Jo, who had 'I told you so' written all over her face, she had witnessed the whole thing.

"What?"

She responded by putting her hands in the air and keeping her mouth shut. Saving it for when they were back at the road house and she could talk all she wanted. Although she kept her mouth shut the smug grin on her face told Dean that she was not going to let this go.

Sam chuckled slightly, he too had noticed Dean and Cas staring, but he did what he always does, ignore it and pretend their constant eye sexing of each other was not there, Jo had obviously not received that memo. It wasn't long before they pulled into the road house and everyone was happy to get out the car.

Although Dean was pleased to be getting beer he did not look forward to the inevitable digging and poking of Jo's infuriating questions, which he told himself he didn't know the answers. As Dean entered the bar he thought to himself 'Let the torture commence.'


	6. Chapter 6

Dean new there was no getting away but it didn't mean he welcomed the taunting. As long as there was beer and maybe some shots, he would be aright. Dean moved from the car to the bar very quickly and left Sam, Jo and Cas still seated in the impala. Dean joined Ellen who had gotten their first and already had drinks lined up. Sam soon appeared and immediately excused himself to go to the bathroom.

Jo and Cas turned up a moment later and Jo took Cas to a table for them to 'talk' Cas was uncomfortable and nervous but Jo's insisting was relentless to she agreed.

Dean watched as they entered, Dean studied Cas' silhouette, the sun against her back, creating a glow from her hair and outlined her perfect legs. Dean grunted as her turned back around, not showing what the image did to him.

Sam walked past Jo and Cas, Jo was laughing whilst Cas was looking edgy. Sam joined his brother and Ellen at the bar and got himself a beer to drink with his brother.

"it's weird isn't it"

"hmm?"

"Cas being a girl."

"haven't really noticed Sammy."

"sure, well you both still stare at each other like everything's normal."

"I don't know what you mean."

Dean stated and drank more of his beer, Sam rolled his eyes it was clear that he did, he was just being dean, dodging any convocation that could hit to close to home, and could god forbid show his feelings. Ellen came over to them and opened her mouth, she probably would have given them some pearls of wisdom if it weren't for Jo.

"hey mum come over here."

And with that the brothers were left alone at the bar, whilst the girls were at a small table, the two human women looking every pleased with themselves whilst the angel slightly red but did have a small well hidden smile curving her lips, she had relaxed and taken of her coat as has Jo and Ellen, it looked cosy.

* * *

Time past quickly but not as quickly as the weather now the setting sun had disappeared behind the horizon the wind and rain suddenly started full looked over to the table, it was lined with empty bottles and glasses, he thought it looked slightly sinister and the rain did not help matters hammering down upon them. He thought they became like witches in those old films cackling and performing a spell whilst lightening lit up the room. Upon seeing this Dean realised;

"I need another drink"

"Cheers to that"

The boys looked at each other smirked and after clanking their bottles drank in silence. It would have stayed that way between them if the laughter from the girls hadn't winded Dean up so.

"Why doesn't she get it over with?"

"Who get what over with?"

"Jo, you saw the way she was in the Car, now she's not teasing or joking. Its killing me."

"You want her to tease you, and call you and Cas' shopping trip a date? Huh."

"No of course not but I know she will. I don't like this waiting."

Suddenly something very, very strange happened, in there line of work, in their life strange was the way they lived it was what they depended on to some extent, but this was just so weird.

"You bitch!"

Jo exclaimed and throw a glass of wine over a bewildered Cas, both Ellen and Jo stood, sounding deadly serious and grabbing the complete attention from the Winchesters,

"I think you better go."

Ellen spoke through her teeth not loud but by god that women was scary when she wanted to be.

"That's right fuck off!"

Jo shout pointing to the door, a silent Cas made her way to the door pushed it open and looked back to the thoroughly pissed of women.

"Go."

Ellen near enough whispered. With that Cas disappeared into the pouring rain. When she had gone the women sat back down.

"What just happened?"

Dean asked worryingly and completely confused.

"I just through a whore from my bar"

"Cas, the angel? a whore?"

Sam asked bewildered,

"Well she is a bitch and we don't want her here."

Jo told the boys flat out,

"What happened?"

Sam asked Jo and Ellen. Dean on the other hand didn't need to know he grabbed his jacket and left with out another word to find Cas in the rain. As soon as dean left, Jo took a sip of her newly poured wine, Sam did not miss the smirk on either women.

"What have you two done?"

* * *

Outside the wind was howling and the rain was pounding down hard on Dean face. He had no idea where the weather had come from and the rain drops fell to face they hurt his cheek, but at this point his focus was on finding Castiel then the sodding weather.

"Cas! Cas! CAS!"

Dean was sure she would have just zapped to…Dean had no idea where the angel went when she wasn't with him and Sam. Dean spotted a figure under a tree, leading lifelessly against the trunk,

"Cas?"

"Hi dean"

Cas spoke softly and could barley be heard over the rain.

"Come back inside"

Dean approached her and stood in front of the dripping young woman,

"I cant, you heard them, they don't want me there."

"then zap anywhere, just get out of this rain Cas, please."

Cas looked up at Dean

"Dean I do not zap"

"Okay then fly, fly out of this storm."

"And go where? I can't go back to heaven, my home for the last millennia. I don't belong anywhere Dean. Do you know how lonely it is taking myself away to a secluded corner of the world to stand there, alone. Waiting for your call."

To Dean's surprise, despite the rain it was obvious she had tears in her eyes. Dean didn't know that angels could cry, it was hard to watch.

"Cas why didn't you tell me any of this?"

Cas merely shrugged.

"Zap to the motel room, I know what its like to be lonely, believe me I know. You do belong Cas. zap me with you."

"No Dean there your family and friends, I could take you away. You belong in there"

"I belong with you Cas. Besides their not going to miss me for one night are they."

Dean snaked his arms around the woman, effectively pinning her against the tree. He brought the angel in for a hug. Cas felt a little awkward but for the most part she felt strangely happy. Dean's eyes closed as he fell in love with the moment the feel of another body pressed to close against him, even with the wind and rain his angel made him feel warm. As a smile crept onto Cas' face the sound of wings, cut through the howling wind and took them back to the motel.

The flutter of feathers gave Dean secret butterflies.


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter is the convocation you didn't hear at the roadhouse between Jo, Cas and Ellen. before Cas got thrown out. Also what sam does after Dean runs after his angel.**

**Hope you enjoy the chapter XD**

**apologies if there are still mistakes, i will correct them in time, promise. ^_^**

**please review xxx**

* * *

Jo entered the road house full of ideas of the many ways she could torture Dean Winchester. He will be confessing his feelings by the time Jo is done.

She was followed into the bar by Cas. Dean turned to see the girls come in, he averted Jo's gaze as she still had that smug look on her face, Deans eyes fell on Cas. The roadhouse was not well lit but she could tell their eyes collided with such an intense gaze Cas froze in the door way. Jo looked at Dean his green eyes were lit up, sparkled and seemed to danceas they scanned over Cas' body. It wasn't until Dean forced himself to look away that Cas could breath and it became possible for her to move. and Jo led her to a table.

A smile appeared on both Cas and Jo's face, yes she saw undeniable lust in both their eyes. she also saw confusion, denial and love. Deep love that has evolved and developed and hasn't just appeared at the sight of Cas with boobs. But Jo was like everyone else, she was in denial that Cas and Dean were in love when it was 'gay' so she only registered their attraction when it was more sociablyexceptable and believable of Dean. The part were they want to screw seemed to be the only part Jo was interested in. love was not part of her plan.

"Do you like Dean Cas?

Jo asked whilst they sat down, trying her best to sound as casual as she could with a smirk spread across her face. Cas looked at her, confused at such an obvious question.

"Yes."

"But do you _like_ him?"

"I have already answered your question, which leads me to believe there is another interpretation to your question that I do don't understand."

Jo sighed through an amused smile as she went to the bar and got some beer, before returning, the table was far enough away so they could not be overheard but it still had everyone- initially Dean, in clear eye shot. Jo decided to put it as clearly as she could.

"Do you want to get into dean's pants?"

"They would not fit."

"Oh my god, your such a virgin."

Jo laughed out before taking a sip of beer and watching Cas' reaction, she shifted uncomfortably in her seat, as her eyes scanned the room before looking at the beer in front of her.

"You're a virgin?"

"I've never had occasion okay."

"Hey I'm not judging, but. How old are you?"

"Very."

"And you've never…not even once. Huh."

"Is there a point to this?"

"Yes. Cas do you want to stay a virgin?"

"I never really thought about it, I suppose not."

"Do you want Dean to take it?"

After a confused head tilt Jo let out a small laugh before putting it even clearer so that even an angel could understand.

"Do you want Dean to fuck your brains out?"

Cas tensed completely as he grabbed the beer in front of her she drank about half the bottle. As she did she went from embarrassed red to petrified white. Much to Jo's amusement who was giggling at the sight of it.

"Hey mum, come over here."

Jo beckoned her mother to them; Ellen left the boys and joined her daughter and the angel at the small table. She sat with her beer and listened to the remaining of the convocation before she would be filled in.

"you want to be with him yes?"

"I don't…"

Cas couldn't defend her feelings as Ellen suddenly piped up, she could guess what they were talking about. It didn't take a freaking genius to work out who Cas wanted to be with.

"…Bull, I've seen the way you two look at each other, he wants you just as much, if not more than you want him."

Jo laughed slightly at her mothers outburst but no one could argue with her, even Cas seemed to be struggling for words.

"Mum you weren't there in the car on the way over, we were practically drowning in sexual tension."

"That Joanna-Beth, I can believe."

Both women laughed, Cas tried repeatedly to object, she opened her mouth only to close it again, this action was repeated several times.

Cas knew there was no point in denying it. Though it had been easy up to now, but since the angels vessel, is now a in female form other people are less willing to deny it along with them, and to over look what they apparently very obviously wanted from each other. Despite the fact the angel and the hunter didn't act dramatically different when together, it is only now people are seeing what has always been there.

Cas reluctantly nodded and both Jo and Ellen's smiles reached ear to ear.

"So we are going to get them together."

Jo informed her mum how nodded and they turned to an uncomfortable looking squiring angel sat before them.

"Cas, take your coat off."

"why?"

"so you look more helpless."

"I'm an angel I am not helpless."

"Cas mums right, do it."

Without further argument she did so as Ellen got some red wine from behind the bar. Dean did warn him about drinking wine, but there was no sign of coloured umbrella drinks, so Dean can't get too mad, besides Jesus used it to show his blood so the angel can drink it if he wants, not that had a choice in the matter. It was strange only Jo and Cas got the wine and only Cas drunk it.

Time past quickly but not as quickly as the weather now the setting sun had disappeared behind the horizon the wind and rain suddenly started full throttle.

"okay is that clear?"

Jo asked Cas who nodded to her, cas understood what is expected of her, it didnt make her anyless less nervous or anymore comfortable at the thought of it.

"But first things first you need to leave"

"Why?"

"To separate you. Plus Dean will be almost sure to follow you."

As Jo finished Ellen saw the bewildered look still plastered over Cas' crumpled face.

"Just follow our lead sweetie"

After a nod from Cas, Ellen smiled and Jo winked at the angel. Before Cas new what was going on she had wine thrown in her face, but Cas followed their lead and left.

She walked into the pouring rain and instantly wished she hadn't removed her coat, and now understood what they meant but looking more 'helpless'. Cas' heart warmed up her curiously cold body when she heard Dean calling for her.

* * *

"What have you two done?"

Sam asked he was shocked at the women's outburst it didn't seem like them, okay it did a little but not to an angel. Suddenly both girl was relaxed and seemed happy…with them selves. They sat back down with smirks across their faces and drank their beer.

"err, Jo you gonna clear that mess up? Oh and take this horrid stuff with you."

Jo went to the bar to fetch a cloth to wipe up the spilt wine and took the bottle of wine away and put it back behind the bar. Sam was getting frustrated and joined them at the table.

"What just happened?"

"Jo and I just gave destiny a little nudge."

"What? That was fake?"

"Afraid so and Dean behaved the way we knew he would."

"And the wine?"

Jo rejoined them at the table and told Sam whilst holding in a giggle

"Wine is better for throwing over people, beer doesn't have the same effect."

Sam couldn't believe what he was hearing he even got up and started pacing before it sank in.

"You two are playing match maker."

The girls nodded, it sounded childish but some one had to do it.

"you're setting up my brother with Cas? Dean's not gay!"

"And Cas isn't a guy anymore."

Sam was shocked at Jo's answer, it was true that Cas now looked like a girl, but Sam was sure Dean saw Cas as he did, a man. And they will find a way of turning him back into one, at least that what Sam figured, and if they did; it would be pretty awkward in the morning for those two.

"Sam, do you really believe Dean's straight when you have seen the way they look at each other?"

Sam couldn't hear anymore of this, it was all too much, too daunting, too freaky and too true. Sam needed time to process he didn't know what to think. But what he did know was what Jo and Ellen did was wrong. Dean needed to do that thing which made him uncomfortable and defensive- talk. Him and Cas needed to talk. He did not need is to be seduced by the angel with Jo and Ellen's help.

Sam throw the two giggling woman his best, that-was-not-called-for-I-hope-it-turns-around-and-bites-you-on-the-ass bitch face before leaving and going after his brother, before something stupid happens.

Sam was only outside for a few seconds and his hair was already sticking to his frowning forehead whilst the most part of it waved wildly in the wind as he searched for his brother. Sam spotted Dean caressing the angel just in time to watch them disappear.

"Dean!"

Sam shouted after them, knowing full well that he wouldn't be heard. And the two would have been back at the motel before Sam had managed to open his mouth.

Sam was sure something incredibly stupid was about to happened and so went back into the roadhouse, certain of one thing; he was not going back to the motel tonight.


	8. Chapter 8

When Dean finally opened his eyes, he was back in the familiar room they the day started in, sheltered from the storm that has reached the motel, the wind rattled the windows and howled against the glass. Dean was unsure how long he had been there holding Cas' soaking body close to his, but neither him nor Cas objected to the lingering moment of contact.

Dean realised he had to let Cas go, he knew it was the last thing he wanted to do but knew he had too.

Dean stepped back to look at her, as his hand slid from her back to rest on her waist. The feel of Dean's fingers caressing her skin gave Cas a tingling feeling over the area of contact. And a warm buzz in the rest of her body, Dean's grip was the only thing Cas could see that was keeping her rooted and not returning to heaven, if she wasn't there already it was hard to tell.

Dean looked over the angel, due to the rain; her hair lay flat and heavy against her head, her skin had a thin coating of water all over that made her sparkle slightly. Cas also had a single bead of water that under Dean's gaze ran down the bridge of her nose and gathered at the bottom. Dean smiled fondly as he moved his hand and removed the rain drop from Cas slowly and gently, as Cas watched open eyed at Dean.

The situation was a strange one, the air was thick and each breath felt electric. If the events of tonight ever come out this part he was leaving out, it was way to chick flick. Dean Winchester does not do chick flicks; it didn't make him feel warm, affectionate and peaceful at all.

After realising what he did, he turned slightly pink, thinking he may have crossed a line, Dean turned away to remove himself from the strange, surreal situation he found himself in, with his angel.

Cas started to worry she was loosing Dean attention and interest, so quickly thought back to Jo's instructions.

Cas perched on the side of the bed, and crossed her arms closing herself of completely, Dean turned when he heard movement, what he found worried him, Cas was shivering.

"Cas, are you okay?"

"No, my body temperature has dropped."

"Are you cold?"

Cas nodded as she clung to herself more. Dean instantly sat down beside her and put an arm around the quivering angel.

"Is it serious I didn't think you got cold, you not sick are you?"

Dean tightened his grip, begging for a good answer to his questions.

"It's just the drop in body mass, I haven't adjusted I just need to warm up."

Following Jo's instructions she then lent into Dean. Dean initially froze, but soon relaxed and held Cas tighter to his chest.

"It's okay, I'll warm you up."

Dean them jokingly vigorously rubbed Cas' arm.

"its strange Dean, I've never felt like this before."

"Well you will be cold this t-shirt is dripping."

Dean stated before removing himself revealing wet patches on his already wet clothes.

"take it off."

"what?"

Cas was suddenly scarred at what dean was suggesting although I had meant Jo's plan was working- faster than he thought it was still daunting and overwhelming.

"take it off or you'll catch pneumonia or something, here put this on"

Dean laid his favourite leather jacket on the bed, Dean was concerned for her wanted her warm and well, he wasn't coming on to her. Cas was both happy and sad of that. Cas stood up with her back to Dean began to take off the borrowed t-shirt, when Dean told her.

"Cas you can do that in the bathroom."

A small smirk appeared on Cas' face as she continued. Cas slowly revealed the rest of her thighs, firm ass and nipped in waist. Her shoulder blades were visible and made Dean wonder about her wings. At the sight of his angel like this Dean tensed, everything inside his burst, Dean started sweating and wait was he getting nervous. Dean doesn't get nervous.

All Cas was wearing was purple underwear, only covering around half of what it should- Dean wasn't complaining, and a slightly see through purple lace bra, when dean paid for these earlier he imagined what she would look like in them, he had not imagined she would look this good.

When she turned around Deans mind was blown, he could hardly string a sentence together. his mouth dropped as his eyes scanned over Cas' unveiled form. It felt nice for Cas for Dean to obviously find her attractive but now he did it so openly and without subtly, she felt like the prize bull, being stared at and bided on. Cas didn't like the feeling.

"Dean I'm not a piece of meat."

This clique line that suddenly came from the angel made Dean chuckle and look away breaking his intrusive stare.

"wow, you really did become a girl."

Cas wanted to rant on at him again how he didn't change at all only the outer shell, but thought it would do no good so merely rolled her eyes and put Dean's leather jacket on. Instantly feeling warmer and from the body heat Dean left inside the jacket she felt closer to dean again, which was always nice. It was filled with the smell of Dean and made Cas shudder as she inhale that heavenly scent.

Dean saw this and thought she was still cold- thank god. So he pulled her to his lap and put his arms around her. Cas was shocked at this action, through her many years watching humans the angel knew this was a fun tender normal thing couples did. Cas and Dean were anything but normal and were certainly not a couple. Although this did mean Jo's plan was working and Cas could go to another part of the plan.

Before doing this, Cas regrettably went through the events of the last day or so and realised that Dean wasn't interested in the angel, the hunter has never been like this before, Dean was just interested in the vessel. Cas knew that Dean was doing his 'sleep with me' routine for the Cassie the girl not Castiel the angel, Cas couldn't make love to someone this way. Lusts of the flesh was a sin but what Dean was doing felt like so much more. Cas tensed completely and felt her eyes start to sting and heart drop, she new she couldn't go through with Jo's plan it didn't seem right, it didn't feel right.

Dean noticed something was wrong and lessened his grip so he could look at the angel in his arms.

"Cas are you alright?"

"Yes I'm fine."

"Cas?"

Dean knew full well she was lying and looked deep into her eyes and pouted slightly, he pulled the most adorable face. Upon seeing it Cas couldn't stop herself from smiling and she knew she would have to tell dean, she could never lye to him.

"it's just strange."

"what is."

"this"

Cas gestured to the position they were in, the intimate situation that was played out by lovers, something Cas and Dean were not.

"Do you want me to let you go?"

Dean asked sounding like a little kicked puppy. He sounded vulnerable and sweat and although was offering them to part his eyes were begging from them to stay close.

"no."

Cas spoke through a soft smile. The situation was a little awkward but she knew that she didn't want to leave Dean.

"Then what's the problem Cas?"

Dean was getting slightly worried. Cas refused to look Dean in the eye and simply looked down instead. When Dean placed a hand softly under Cas' chin and lifted her head up. Dean saw tears filling her striking azure eyes that were now red and full of questionable pain.

"Hey shhh, shhh it okay Cas."

Dean whispered to her as he softly brushed a tear from her silky smooth cheek.

"See this is what I'm talking about."

Cas got up from Dean leaving a completely baffled Dean sitting eyes wide on the bed already missing the comforting warm there closeness brought. What was with Cas? It must be hormones or something, dean thought to himself. The look he saw on Cas' face made any humour he felt from this thought disappear completely.

"Cas what have I done?"

"The way you are around me, its different, it's softer and gentle and you treat me like…"

"like what?"

"like a girl."

"Cas you are a girl now."

"No dean I'm an angel, a warrior of god have you forgotten? I don't need your assistance; I am stronger and more powerful than you."

"I'm sorry I didn't know it bothered you so much."

"it doesn't. Dean I like the gentle side you are showing its, nice. But its not for me, it's for these."

With that Cas opened Deans jacket to reveal her breasts and Dean suddenly knew what the angel meant and a lump form in his throat making it impossible to stop Cas so had to listen to each heart breaking word.

"you are not interested in me Dean, not me, just this form. Would you have shared your beer with me, gave me your clothes, asked me to stay last night, punched someone for my honour or held me close if I were in Jimmy's form?"

Dean felt sadden at how Cas was being truthful if Cas looked like Jimmy he would have told him to get his own beer and wouldn't think twice about letting him go into the night last night, though he would have wondered were he went for most the night, like many nights and as for punching someone he would be sure the angel could handle himself. It was because of Cas new look but Cas was still Cas, Dean felt incredibly guilty about this.

"I, I love this side you show when I'm like this. I love you Dean and it hurts so much to feel this way."

Cas stopped and the words sank in, Dean flushed cold all over he never expected that. Well he expected it sometime, everything they had ever gone through was leading to that realisation but not in such a surreal situation. Cas was thoroughly embarrassed as was Dean. There was silence for too long for Cas to continue to hope Dean would say it back and prove her wrong. So Cas got angry intending to finish her piece and make her point.

"I feel that maybe I was wrong and you are acting that way for me, then I see my reflection and I remember, I tried to follow the instructions but I cant, all you want to do is fuck this vessels brain's out!"

Dean felt distressed at Cas soul breaking words, so much pain and betrayal was portrayed to dean in such a small amount of time in so few words. When he heard Cas' last line, Deans eyes widen and they both went red at hearing such profanity fall from the angels lips.

Dean regrettably new he had to tell Cas, he knew it. So Dean stood up went over to Cas and cupped her wet cheeks and as he looked his angel in the eye he spoke gently.

"I'm sorry. I know I've acted differently since your change. But its…Oh Cas its so much easier to act that way when your like this. No I wouldn't stop you form leaving if you were a man, but that would not make me any less worried for your safety or make it any easier for me to sleep, when all I can think about it is, were you go and whether you are safe and happy there. Cas I wouldn't act this way if you looked like Jimmy but, but I would still want too."

Cas was staring her gaze bedded deep within Deans green tear filled eyes, as if searching his soul for the truth. Cas lent into Dean's touch when she was sure she found it.

"why didn't you say anything before."

"because Cas. I'm a twat."

Cas laughed softly the sound of her light flowing giggle put a smile across dean face. Deans arms moved around her waist, on the outside of the jacket, inside would be to bold a move after such a emotional few minutes. They stood there eyes closed forehead to forehead breathing deeply breath falling into each others mouth and dancing over their features. Both feeling peaceful as they melted into each others touch.

"Cas?"

"hmmm."

"What instructions?"

Cas' eyes sprung open.

* * *

**TBC **

**This scene will be continued in the next chapter**

**sorry for those that wanted to see some action, but i felt this was the way the chapter went, i see them in my head and write what they do, i have very little control lol**

**anyway please review and tell me what you think. xxx**


	9. Chapter 9

There was silence for a second or so Cas didn't know what to say she didn't want to upset dean but telling him the truth would surly do that, and Cas really didn't want to lye to him, Dean opened his eyes to look back at Cas.

"Cas. What instructions?"

Dean asked again, feeling the words getting more and more heated. Really not wanting to repeat himself again, because he really didn't want to shout but he new he would in a little while.

"Cas."

Dean spoke through his teeth in a firm I'm not shouting but am really pissed off tone.

"It's nothing, it doesn't matter."

Dean let Cas go, dropping he hands to his sides but keeping the closeness that wasn't as loving as a moment ago.

"Well how about you tell me and I'll decide if its nothing."

Cas missed the warmth of Deans embrace and want it back, she tried to touch Dean's cheek but Dean grabbed her wrist. Although he grabbed it fast and tight he soon loosened his grip and held it gently stroking her hand with one of his thumbs.

"Please."

Dean could guess what Cas was going to say, it wasn't hard to figure out. Dean didn't want to believe but Dean had to hear Cas say it.

"Jo."

Hearing her actually say it was the last thing Dean wanted to do so when the word softly and shamefully escaped Cas' barley parted lips, Dean felt sadness, frustration but most of all anger, suddenly it all became painfully clear. He let Cas' hand go and turned away feeling utterly betrayed and hurt. Cas slowly went over to the tense men in front of her and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Dean please."

"You know for an angel your one hell of a hypocrite."

"I'm sorry?"

Dean shot around revealing hurt red eyes, he looked Cas up and down this time not with lust and affection, this time it was cold.

"You go on about me just out for your body and here you are hell bent on screwing me over…literally!"

"Dean I couldn't do it, I'm sorry"

"You really are a girl, a manipulative scheming bitch."

"You don't have to be mean."

Dean and Cas shared a glance their eyes locked and both could see pain in the others eyes, Cas' sharp striking eyes became soft and weak, forgetting his anger for a moment Dean's heart melted and just wanted to hold her.

* * *

Dean couldn't handle it so he threw his hands in the air and went into the bathroom, needing space and time to think. Cas didn't understand the events that had just come to pass not completely. But knew she didn't like the empty room that stared bleakly back at her so went over and knocked on the door, thinking that suddenly appearing would be too much for Dean.

"Dean."

"Piss off."

"Please Dean open the door."

"Give me one good reason."

"If you don't I could just fly in there."

"Will you?"  
"No."

"Then go"

"Just give me chance to explain, you owe me that much."

"Why Cas, why do I owe you a thing."

"Because; I raised you from hell, rebelled against heaven for you, killed my brothers for you, fought for you and died for you."

There was silence Cas put this palm against the door, being an angel she could be trying to read Dean, see past the wood, seep in the atmosphere but she wasn't, Cas was longing to tough Dean. It wasn't a conscious decision it was such a human thing to do it confused her so she shook her head and turned around and lent against the door. Putting her full weight against it and rested her head on the dirty hastily painting door waiting for a reply.

"Okay. Explain."

Dean spoke quietly obviously slightly embarrassed and stunned that he had Cas' rap sheet thrown in his face. Of course he owed Cas, he owed Cas everything he has and holds dear. His life, his soul everything was thanks to Cas everything belonged to Cas. Dean's heart beat for him Dean had to correct himself… it beat for her.

This hurt the most, getting Dean to realise this, only to find out it was some sick joke to play and discard him.

"I didn't understand then, I still don't, not completely. I never know how I am feeling, how it is possible to feel so much. All I know is when I look at you I feel sick."

"Gee thanks."

Cas knew he wasn't explaining it to well, but could have sworn he detected a hint of amusement in Deans voice, but it was hard to tell listening to a muffled voice through a wooden door. Cas slid down to the floor so he was sitting back up against the door as she clung to her knees that were to her chest she felt vulnerable and nervous about what she was going to say.

feeling like the next words she spoke would determine her future whether; Cas' grace would burnt bright forever, or she would feel so broken and cold inside out and have an eternity of living barely living, alone staring her in the face. With a deep breath she continued;

"I feel what I imagine sick would be, my stomach aches and feels as if it's flipping and buzzing, its hard for me to breath as if all the air is gone. My heart starts to race and when you look at me the beating becomes irregular and erratic, my head gets filled with these thoughts and images that an angel should never have, and all I want to do I realise the pain I have in my gut, it distracts and confuses me, I do not like it. These feeling scare me Dean, I'm not used to feelings of any kind and now suddenly I have these intense never ending emotions. Jo merely offered me a way of dealing with it, a simple way of making me feel better and I took it. It wasn't her I accepted her commands and was willing to follow them. I am sorry."

Cas finished her heart filled apology feeling slightly better it was all finally of her chest. The distressed angel let her head fall as she tried desperately hard to listen to the potential movements in the other room. There was none no sound, Dean didn't answer. Cas would have preferred him screaming then not talking at all.

* * *

When suddenly an unsuspecting Cas fell backwards slightly as Dean opened the door. Cas quickly made her way to her feet and caught Dean's eye.

"what kind of images?"

Dean had a smirk, that was adorably sexy Cas had to smile.

"I'm sorry."

Cas breathed out still feeling guilty.

"it's alright; at least you had morals I was willing to ride you all night long it was you that showed me how wrong it would be, in my way of thinking about it."

"it doesn't have to be wrong."

Cas spoke nervously and slowly, when her words hit Dean's ears he immediately looked at her.

"Cas we, and I'm turning into a girl as I'm saying this. But we can't, I respect you to much. We should probably talk first there's a lot I have to say but it's pretty late for it now. So we can discuss things tomorrow?"

Cas although way infinitely proud of Dean at this point and welled with happiness that he no longer saw her as a quick roll in the hay, but she had to admit she was partly disappointed. Dean saw that look in her eye it was acceptance and annoyance of Dean's words but mostly confusion and love. It always baffled Dean how Cas' eyes could say so much in just one look.

Dean moved into Cas' personal space he was so close that they could feel each others breathe on their face and entered their mouths and they tasted each other. Dean never broke the stare and slowly raised a hand to Cas soft smooth check run the pad of his thumb up her cheek bone and their other hand's were lacing each others fingers holding tight with a loose grip. Without a word Dean slowly lent into Cas, guiding her softly with his hand, still looking into those heavenly soul catching eyes, until Dean's lips were 3 inches from Cas quivering ones, Dean's eyes fell on them he watched as they quivered slightly and pouting gently wanting Dean's lips to caress them. With a small loving smile Dean closed the gap between them; he softly pressed his dry lips against Cas' sucking gently on her bottom lip.

* * *

Their first kiss was slow but over way too quickly, there was little movement yet still gave both hunter and angel bursts of electric bliss shooting from there lips coursing to every part of their bodies. As Dean pulled away Cas winced silently as the loss of contact. Only god knows how long they stood there looking deep into each other.

Dean knew once and for all that the warmth he got from that kiss the calming feeling of peace was from the angel, his angel. Not the body that contained heavens beauty. Dean knew that he was never letting it go.

Cas now new there were perks to being more human and feeling and thinking the way they do, he told Dean he loved him, but Cas never believed that only suspected until now. Until that kiss she could have walked away if Dean needed her too now Cas knows that is impossible there's no letting go there no walking away, Dean is Cas' home now, her heaven.

After finishing his trail of thought, Dean found himself back in the room and still lost in Cas' never ending memorising gaze so after retching himself away from those eyes, placed a kiss on Cas' forehead before turning around and getting ready for bed.

Cas watched as Dean took of his shirt, revealing perfectly toned muscles that stretched and moved as he retched for his trousers, as Dean undone his flies Cas felt she should look away give him some privacy but couldn't for all the world she couldn't do it, Dean was just so raw and firm, it took a lot for Cas to stay where she was and not lunge herself at him. When Dean was down to his boxers he got into bed and as he caught Cas' eye he froze and looked back.

"Can I? Can I get in with you? I feel tired."

"Didn't think angels slept."

"We can, we just choose not to, but the transformation and events of today have taken a lot out of me. I should recharge."

Dean smiled, he was relieved Cas wanted to get into bed he loved the idea. To feel Cas' body against his to feel the warmth and each breath she took would be heaven to the weary hunter, not that Dean would ever tell anyone that of course, Dean Winchester does not snuggle.

As Cas saw Dean pull back the covers for her to slip in Cas smiled an unintentional suggestive smirk that caused Dean to chuckle. Cas followed Dean's example and took of the man's jacket that she wore, it hung baggy over her body.

As Cas climbed into bed with Dean. Both were obviously nervous as hearts beat a mile a minute and breathes became deep and heavy. Dean trembled from the thought of this tender and soft situation that was played out by lovers something that Cas and Dean were surly becoming with every passing glance, touch and kiss.

They laid on their sides Dean curled around the outline of Cas spooning and protecting her. The feel of Cas' skin against Dean's made both of them gasp at the surprising pleasure it had for them, it was beautiful.

Dean gently put a strong arm around Cas, running his rough warm fingers around her smooth sensitive waist, the feel of Dean's touch was new sensation of closeness Cas has never experienced and to some extent neither as Dean. Cas ran a hand up Dean's arm watching how the hairs moved and bumps rose as she lightly skimmed over his tanned skin. Dean lowered his head slightly so he could whisper into her ear

"was you climbing into bed with me one of your instructions?"

Cas thought about it, thought about why Dean asked it was strange thing to talk about so casually after the fight they just had about it.

"yes."

"I see." Dean answered through a layer of light butterfly kissed he placed gently on Cas' neck. "Well forget anymore instructions you're not leaving my arms you hear."

"Yes"

This answer was spoken through a touching smile as Cas closed her eyes listening to Dean's breathing. She felt content to lay forever wrapped in the hunter's unspoken but obvious love for her.

* * *

**Once again sorry if you were expecting a great big massive love scene, that will come later on in the story me thinks ^_^**

**why Dean turned cas' proposition down is in the next chapter- if not the next,**

**the chapter was more about the feelings and realising them more then just the sex, which is im not denying important and makes for good reading lol but it just wasnt the time for them to explore that part of eachother...yet ^_^**

**thank you for reading, please now review lol XD**


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry this chapter isnt too long and sorry if there are any mistakes, I shall correct them as i see them XD**

**enjoy the chapter and tell me what you think xxx**

* * *

The sun peeked into the motel room early the next day, causing Dean to awake from the best nights sleep he's had in years. He didn't feel the urge to grab a bottle of something that is more often then not close to his bed, because he didn't have a single bad dream. Thanks to Cas, Dean was sure.

Although Dean was awake he hadn't the strength to open his eyes yet, for the fear of last night being a dream made him keep them shut tight, if it was a dream he wasn't letting it go in a hurry.

Then he breathed in the familiar smell of his angel, his angel was the only person that smelt of; the sea and earth, the first snow flake of winter and first rain fall of spring, of a thousand sunsets and new moons, like a million promises and all the fist kisses earth has ever given heaven the privilege to witness. '_Oh god!'_ Dean thought_ 'I must be in love to think of a spontaneous romantic explanation through the means of poetry! what the hell?_ Truth was the angel smelt sweet and ever so slightly of coconut which gave Dean many, many questions as to why coconut, was it a heaven thing or a Jimmy thing.

As Dean breathed in his angels sent Dean new it was real and as he felt the warm body in his arms an uncontrollable smile appeared across his face, and he squeezed ever so slightly not wanting to wake sleeping beauty. But as he breathed something curious happened something attacked his nose it was light and it tickled slightly. At first Dean thought it was a feather from the angels wings, maybe Cas has less control over keeping them invisible when he allowed himself to sleep, but when Dean opened his eyes he found not feathers but hair long hair, Cas doesn't have long hair he has short messy sex hair the sleepy Dean thought to himself. Then the body next to him turned and revealed an attractive young woman with bright blue eyes and a slightly freckled face. Dean instantly jerked back he had been expecting Cas not…Dean was awake enough now to be embarrassed at how stupid he was.

"Dean are you alright."

"hmm yeah sorry Cas, I just forgot for a moment you were female, was expecting Castiel, I mean Jimmy."

"Dean I am still Castiel."

"I know, I know but you were a guy first so it just will take some getting used to, sorry."

Cas smiled softly to Dean as a way of accepting his apology and got up out of bed. Dean became tense and was even hurt a little at this action, she would need to go to the toilet or get food there was no need for her to leave.

"Where? Where are you going?"

Cas detected slight panic in his voice and had to smile a crocked one sided smile at his adorable way of asking that.

"come on, you get up too, we should go back to the road house."

"no we don't."

Dean said with a cheeky smile as he grabbed Cas by the wrist to pull her back in bed. He tickled her lightly and Cas laughed hysterically, angels are ticklish Dean noted that as good to now for the future. When Dean give in to Cas' begs for him to stop he laid beside her holding his head up with his hand, he scanned over her body again she was still in her underwear and still looks extremely sexy.

"Dean?"

"Yeah."

"you were expecting to wake up with another man?"

"I was still half asleep Cas, but yeah I suppose so."

"that didn't bother you?"

"Course not, Its still you," this put a sparkle in Cas' eye, Dean was understanding that it was still the same angel inside and Dean seemed okay with it even if it meant the hunter was gay. Dean had to add, under his breath, "besides I kinda liked the male you."

"Really?"

Dean decided not to go there so cleared his throat and removed himself from the bed.

"come on you, Roadhouse time."

Dean pulled Cas off the bed in much the same manner as he pulled her on. This time catching her as their bodies collided. Dean lent in and gave the unsuspecting angel a loving eager kiss, Cas let out a slight moan from the bottom of her throat as Dean moved his lips against hers. Dean broke of the kiss to focus some attention to her neck. Dean kissed his way down and planted open mouthed wet erotic kisses on Cas' sensitive neck, the angels eyes flickered shut as she felt Dean's tongue and the nip of his teeth. Cas had to push Dean away knowing he wouldn't stop until neither of them wanted him too, well neither of them did but at least they had the strength to withstand temptation, for now.

"Okay, okay spoil sport."

Dean kissed Cas lightly on the cheek before putting his clothes on, Cas simply watched. When Dean was fully clothed Cas could think straight again so she managed to ask the question that was bugging her all night.

"What are you going to do?"

Dean was checking the bullets in his gun when he said "About what babe?" he froze completely as flushed red, he felt like a freaking blushing school girl. Cas smiled not through amusement but affection he was touched Dean gave him such a cute nickname and felt comfortable enough to say it…sort of. Cas didn't want Dean more embarrassed so continued like normal.

"About Jo."

"I don't know, make her pay."

"How?"

"Dunno, I could shoot her."

"Dean that seems a little harsh."

Dean chuckled slightly at the seriousness Cas took his suggestion.

"Well I have to do something."

Dean thought for a moment, after examining the shirt she wore yesterday and it was still ringing wet so he threw his jacket to Cas for her to put on again. Dean then walked to the door.

"Are we getting breakfast?"

Cas asked she looked confused as to why Dean was leaving.

"No. Can't have you going there one day in nought but my t-shirt and a trench coat and the next just your underwear and my jacket, I think well give that a miss. Why? Are you hungry?

Dean raised his eyebrows angels didn't eat did they?

"No, but I could think of another reason you are leaving."

"The Roadhouse Cas, you said so yourself."

"Well…" Cas went over to Dean and held his hands and whispered slightly "let me fly you, the impala there and you can't walk."

Dean forgot he left his baby behind. Dean grabbed his bag, slipped his gun into his jeans before taking her hands and looked deep within Cas' eyes and he nodded agreeing to be flown.

Cas cupped deans cheek, dean closed his eyes and lent into her touch. Cas moved in and placed a kiss on deans cheek at the same time she took flight. Deans' stomach jolted as he let over a slight moan at the feel of Cas' lips on his skin and sound of the sharp flutter of wings and rustle of feathers.

* * *

**Thanks for reading**

**I put in this little morning after scene, because well I wanted to. ^_^ **

**now the story will be getting a little more serious-research wise, trying to figure out who did this to Cas and why. but if they do find out does the angel want to to go back to male form? hmmm lol XD**

**Jo will pay for her devious ways, somehow- haven't thought that far ahead yet tbh, yet again maybe there grateful I mean it did get the two together, in a way lol**

**anyway next chapter up soon, im writting it now but due to stupid work taking up my time it will probs be up tomorrow some time. xxx ^_^**

**please review tell me what you think x**


	11. Chapter 11

Dean and Cas found them selves in the same spot they left last night, underneath the tree that due to the storm had hardly any leaves in but the ones it did were orange and green with swirls of red, the sun was bright and sky clear, the way it always is only after a good storm. Dean opened his eyes when he heard foot steps, to his disappointment it was Cas walking away from him. Dean ran after the angel and stood in front of her.

"Where do you think your going?"

Dean said teasingly as he kissed Cas' neck below her ear and nipped her ear lobes with his teeth. Cas moaned slightly from the sudden rush of pleasure.

"Stop Dean we should go."

Dean did stop to Cas' secret disappointment, but not to secret as it was written all over her face which made Dean chuckle slightly. After looked Cas up and down he did up the zip to his jacket covering her torso and underwear that was for Dean's eyes only.

"You covering me up?"

"of course, protect your modesty and all that."

There was an awkward moment where Dean was embarrassed at letting his more gentlemanly side show through, although embarrassed he was stuck staring at Cas' warming smile.

"Thank you."

She spoke gently and obviously liked being worried over. Understandable after all the angel was countless years old and being a soldier for most of that, the things the angel must have seen, must have done under orders fighting for God, isn't worth thinking about. So it must be nice for her to feel protected.

"Come on you."

"Dean wait please tell me you won't do anything rash about Jo."

"Me? When have I ever been rash? okay I promise."

"what will you do?"

Dean smirked slightly he knew what he was going to do was childish and stupid but whatever, what she did was just as childish. He didn't want to hurt Jo not at all but did want to piss her of she needed that. So he decided on the thing that wound Sam up to no ends when they were little, that unfortunately he adopted when he was a little older and it annoyed the hell out of Dean so he knows it'll work in pissing her off.

Dean and Cas made there way to the door and opened it slowly letting out a huge creak. They found Sam slumped at the bar with a glass laced with left over drops of what looked like whiskey in his hand. At hearing the door slam shut for the purpose of waking his brother up, Sam shot up and instantly held his head.

"Morning sunshine."

"Hey Dean, Cas."

Sam turned and looked at his brother and the angel. Sam revealed tired red eyes and messy knotted brown hair.

"good night?"

Dean asked Sam with a smug grin, Sam looked like shit.

"I could ask you the same thing."

Sam told his smart ass brother looked at the way their two hands were interlinked and Cas was now wearing even less clothing. Dean laughed the comment of as he walked to the bar and sat, after letting Cas' hand go. Cas remained standing in the door way.

"There you are!"

Jo shouted at Cas excitedly as Sam covered his ears, Sam did not need noise not at this time in the morning. Jo made her way to the angel standing lifelessly in the doorway, she took her wrist and dragged her to the near by table.

"Morning Dean."

Jo told the hunter as she past trying to sound casual and innocent well she was innocently unaware of his knowledge of her reason to try and sound innocent, not that that counted for much. Dean didn't greet here back he simply coughed loudly it sound ridiculously fake then turned to his spaced out looking brother.

"Sorry Sam did you say something?"

"huh?"

Sam breathed out in a very high pitch, too confused and sick to care what Dean meant. Cas smile secretly at it is was cute to see Dean behave like a five year old, Jo hadn't caught up yet she just pulled a face and turned back to Cas. Both girls sat down and Jo instantly just asking.

"so what happened? did it work?"

"Jo…"

"did you do it?"

"Jo…"

"How was it?"

"nothing happened"

Jo's smile faded and confusion set in

"how could it not! Do you follow the instructions?"

"yes but I…"

"what?"

"I told him the plan."

"shit"

"I'm sorry"

"What the hell, why?"

"because I didn't want to trick him"

Jo's growing anger was completely wiped away when she saw the look in Cas' eye. She recognised that look.

"you love him."

Jo sounded a little hurt by this, yes she tried to get them to screw but she never thought there was any proper feelings for each other, well none see wanted to admit were there. Dean didn't do feelings; every one knew she had a crush on the hunter so she suddenly felt a little jealous and angry. Cas opened her mouth to speak when Ellen came in and patted Cas on the back.

"So Cas how was last night?"

Dean looked over to the girls,

"Hello, I'm still here you know."

"Hey Dean"

Ellen told him they shared a polite smile before she turned back to Cas and repeated

"So how was last night?"

Dean rolled his eyes, and took a swig of Sam's glass helping himself tot the last bit of whiskey in the bottom.

one by one everyone made there way to the study in one of the back rooms, were books rested in pile after pile.

To Dean and Cas' surprise and to some extent Sam's that was only just focusing properly, Bobby was in the small room already reading. He looked up at the sound of people, the elder man clocked onto Dean and grunted

"something turned the angel into a girl and you don't call? well I feel like a ditched girl in prom night."

"sorry Bobby I was busy"

"what shopping? Drinking? Screwing?" Cas blushed as Dean cleared his throat; everyone was around them in the door way just staring. "you ijits get in here and help me research."

"Bobby is it really that important?"

Over the top of Jo's question dean once again coughed loudly then turned to Cas

"I'm sorry Cas did you say something?"

Jo shot daggers at Dean whilst Sam smirked remembering their time as children.

"No dean, but Jo…"

"Don't be silly Cassie."

Interrupted Dean who spoke through a laugh and put an arm round the angel's shoulders. Jo was not amused she snatched the top dusty book from one of the piles and heavily sat down on a chair and opened the book whilst still giving Dean evils. Ellen looked from person to person, Bobby scarcely noticed and was reading again, Sam was smirking, Dean was smiling a cheeky grin and Cas, Cas just stood there.

"Okay what's going on?"

"we're researching"

Dean told her as he, along with the others grabbed a book. Every one settled down and silently began to research. For some way that could help them figure out why this happened to the angel.

It was some time before there was any movement or noise from the researching hunters and distracted angel. Cas spent much of the time watching Dean research then actually doing any of her own. Ellen put a book down looked at the time, it was lunch time,

"Anyone else want a beer?"

Everyone agreed and it was Jo that volunteered to get them,

"It's alright ill get them mum."

This of course was met by more fake coughing from Dean who turned swiftly to Sam

"I'm sorry Sammy did you say something?"

"You're a real jerk."

Both brothers smirked, Jo walked out them room, eyes filled with hot angry tears. Much to Dean's surprise, he turned back around and he met Cas' eyes, glaring at him, Dean opened his mouth to question Cas' anger in him but she left the room before he could. Dean watched her leave and got up to chase her.

"Sit back down boy." Bobby demanded and Dean instantly complied "you two can have you little lovers tiff when were done, I'm not gonna be left doing all the work."

Dean wanted to argue tell him they weren't lovers they haven't screwed, but Dean didn't care enough to do that, he really didn't mind to much, so sat back down.

"Hey guys,"

Sam spoke excitedly as he skimmed the rest of the passage, "I think I found a spell that could work. It brings the person who made the spell appear to us."

Bobby took the book of Sam and grunted.

"Yeah this'll be easy."

Bobby told them in his usual sarcastic manner but he was willing to give it a shot and for now every one else seemed willing.

* * *

Jo walked out the room and entered the bar she was fuming, Cas followed and watched her get bottles of beer and slamming each other one on the counter. It was the kind of anger- but secret sadness that if you're not angry you'll cry and if you talk about it you'll cry, Jo was doing her best but her eyes were still filling up. Cas approached the bar.

"Hey Jo."

Jo looked up to the see the angel sit on the stool. She nodded and continued fetching the beer.

"are you okay Jo?"

"Peachy."

"you're angry."

"well wouldn't be, haven't that jerk treat you like a child. Doing what the silent treatment?"

"you're sad."

"wouldn't you be?. It's like he doesn't care enough to even talk to, or shout at me anything."

"Don't take it to heart. He did suggest shooting you. Though I suspect he was joking."

Jo let out a snort of amusement though she tried to keep her solemn look and angry tone but found it impossible with Cas, she was socially awkward had no skills at interaction outside dean and the supernatural world. She was very serious and uptight but the angel's dry wit was very entertaining especially that fact that she was unaware of the fact.

"suppose I did act like an idiot. Come on Cas."

Jo picked up the bottles; with help from Cas they carried them to the study.

* * *

Cas of course gave one of the three bears in her hand to Dean, Dean took it and tried to catch her eye but Cas wasn't looking at him, purposely trying to avoid his gaze. One beer went to Sam who was looking over bobby shoulder mumbling something and something, and she kept the last one for herself after seeing that everyone else had a bottle in hand, she settled down again next to Dean.

"Dean I'm sorry about."

Of course Dean started coughing again, but didn't get the chance to turn to Cas and ask the customary question, because Ellen stepped in to defend her daughter.

"Dean you wanna shut up and behave like an adult."

"not really Ellen."

"Dean you should."

"Cas?"

"just forgive and forget."

All eyes were on Dean how was sitting there obviously annoyed and biting his tongue so not to start shouting at his angel. Jo stood and walked over to Dean.

"Dean, I'm sorry but it all worked out."

"She's right, you should let it go."

Dean was shocked that Cas was standing up for Jo so shocked he forgot to cough; now Dean was really pissed off.

"Why should I?

"Because it's upsetting her and you're behaving like a child."

Cas seemed to hiss this at Dean, who sat stunned mouth open and without words. Before Dean had chance to respond Bobby popped into the convocation merely to end it.

"When you idjits are done with your little heart to heart we're basically ready with the spell."

* * *

**Sorry if you were expecting jo to pay through more mature means**

**but the thought of someone doing this to me just peed me off so decided on it and the thought of Dean acting like a child was just amusing lol**

**you may know, or think you know lol who changed Cas but it will be coming up not in the next chapter but the next**

**next chapter is nearly finished- proud of myself XD so should be up soon.**

**since you've taken the time to read why not review? lol xxx**


	12. Chapter 12

Dean stood nodded at Jo before putting his hand out for her to take, she smiled slightly and took it expecting a hand shake, but was pulled into a hug, and Jo's smile grew. Dean kissed her hair, Cas saw and could see it was done in a friendly way but it didn't stop her stomach and jaw tightening.

"just never do anything like that again." Dean told Jo and he let her go, she nodded at him and Dean turned to Bobby. "what do we have to do?"

Cas stood up from where he was seated feeling flushed and angry they made this decision without him.

"what spell?"

"it's a spell to bring the person that did this to you, here."

Dean explained and Cas seemed to tense up, Dean expected he was a little nervious, but cas didn't hold much hope of success. Sam had more information about the spell and didn't have a problem in sharing it and making Dean feel stupid, Sam always liked doing that.

"well first it breaks the spell on you and this spell follows the source using the fragments of Cas' spell in order to bring the creature here."

"So I'll turn back to Jimmy?"

"yes sorry Cas, but this the only spell we could find."

"Are you alright with this Dean?"

"why shouldn't I be." Dean answered with a cheeky grin at in all honestly he really didn't mind. But he caught a hint of hesitation in Cas' voice "are you alright?"

"Dean it won't work."

"course it will."

"it won't …"

Dean stepped forward stopping little more then a foot away from Cas, he lent into the angel and whispered before placing a kiss on Cas' cheek it was an innocent loving and cute gesture, but still managed to make everyone slightly uncomfortable.

"Cas relax it'll be okay."

Dean removed himself from Cas' warmth still holding her hand, he led her to Bobby.

"You guys done?"

Bobby eyes trail down to there hands to see them entwined much like Sam had done earlier, Cas recognised the situation and began to let go, like Dean had done under Sam's gaze, but this time Dean's grip tighten and didn't let go.

"not at all."

Dean shot back at bobby, suddenly feeling defensive. Bobby merely rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to start explaining exactly what was going to happed when Sam stepped in.

"Dean can I talk to you?"

Sam didn't wait for an answer and dragged Dean out into the sun, trying to get as much privacy as possible.

* * *

"What is it dude?"

"You're okay with this?"

"With what?"

"The spell, if it works Cas is a guy again…you alright with that?"

Dean thought about it and came to the happy conclusion that;

"Yep, I think I am."

"Even if it means being gay."

"I guess so."

"Okay Dean, so would you sleep with him."

Dean shrugged he knew he loved the angel that's all that mattered right? Sam decided to push him further.

"would fuck him, would talk to him about who bottoms, would you suck his cock."

"alright, alright, stop with the mental battery."

"that's my point, its not. It's your future if we do the spell."

Both brothers were silent Dean hadn't thought about that, could he really be with another guy, he liked Cas in Jimmy's form he used to imagine kissing him and being with him but has never been faced with it as a possibility before.

"you know, I think I'll deal."

Sam was shocked completely and utterly taken back by his straight older brother's answer.

"Truth is Sammy, I love that angel and I did before she had tits. It will take some getting used too but it will be worth it."

Sam turned red as he smiled, it was not the answer he was expecting but it was the best answer he could have hoped for.

"You love Cas?"

Dean smiled as he heard this, he did he really did.

"No, yes. But if you tell anyone."

"Why should you hide it?"

"Because I haven't told the freaking angel yet, now enough of this bloody chick moment its giving me chills, come on."

Dean left Sam's side and walked to the impala after a slight laugh from Sam he followed and they stocked up on weapons for when the thing appeared after the spell..

* * *

Cas watched Sam drag his brother outside, and stood to follow. Ellen put a hand on her shoulder to stop him,

"I wouldn't, best to just leave them to it."

Cas looked at Ellen before returning her gaze to the door before nodding in agreement.

"Bobby, did you say that Cas would turn into a guy again"

"yes"

"then may I suggest that you put this on."

Jo suggested going into the bar area and collecting Cas' long forgotten trench coat.

"why?"

"because you turn into a man wearing nothing but Dean's jacket and well with all get a surprise."

"I'm wearing other clothes."

Cas told them as he unzipped Dean's jacket and showed them all her underwear. Ellen burst into laughter as Bobby cleared his thought and felt completely awkward.

"wow Cas didn't know you had it in you."

Jo told the angel through a smirk, referring to the way he made Bobby hot under the collar. Cas looked down and examined her body he thought that being in Jimmy's form whilst wearing her underwear would be inappropriate and rather humiliating so she took the trench coat and replaced Dean's jacket with it.

"Cas? Don't you have clothes?"

"yes but there in the impala."

Jo nodded and smile as she went to read some more of the spell.

"Bobby why would his be done to Cas anyway?"

"probably someone with a grudge from one of their hunts, probably doesn't know he well she is an angel."

"want if they did?"

"well someone's got some sick sense of humour."

At this Cas shuffled in place and looked edgy gaining curious glances from everyone in the room.

* * *

Sam and Dean appeared in the door way carrying large quantities of guns, salt, rock salt rounds, holy water basically what ever they could carry from the boot. They set the weapons down and after preparing Caswith what will happened they all stood back to watch the spell be preformed. Except Dean whostood in front of Cas holding herhand. Everyone was armed to the teeth ready for basically anything that popped its ugly head up. Dean was more concerned with Cas during the spell so carried no weapons.

"Dean this isn't going to work."

"Don't be so sceptical, it will."

Cas shook his head; how he was so sure Dean had no idea. Bobby chanted a few Latin words before threw in the fire, some mixture of herbs, powder, Cas' hair etc that Ellen had busied her self making, which instantly made the room light up slightly and Cas have a golden glow to her skin.

Then things didn't go according to plan, she turned back into a man, but not for long the angel looked like she had bad reception on an old TV. she kept flickering from gender to gender. As it was spell against spell and Cas was in the middle.

Bobby kept chanting and suddenly after a bright light appeared and disappeared the angel looked like Jimmy again though he was still glowing, his familiar face made Dean's head lighten stomach drop. He was so beautiful.

"look." Sam pointed to the corner of the room where a dark figure was, it seemed to be just the shadow and flickered much like Cas did, what ever this was it was strong.

Dean however didn't look, he was breathing heavily and staring into those unchanged eyes. Cas' stare was locked onto Dean's, then not being able to fight the urge anymore where Dean lunged towards the angel and crushing his lips against the other mans. It was heated and passionate both men gasped at the feeling of each others lips, Dean ran his tongue along cas lios opening his mouth and slid into the angel's open mouth and they explored each others mouths with increasingly eager tongues .

Everyone in the room was staring at the dark figure that flickered a few more times and disappeared all together. everyone was baffled and secretly scared. Then the lovers caught their attention, something was happening.

when Dean pulled away from Cas, their eyes still closed they rested there foreheads together and could feel every eye in the room staring at them.

When Dean opened his eyes he saw Cas the female Cas staring back.

"what the?"

"I told you it wouldn't work."

Dean starred for a moment at the female Cas in front of him lips buzzing and needing contact, Dean quickly decided he can deal with why the spell didn't work after revisiting that kiss, Cas welcomed it completely. As they kissed in the middle of the room the felt as though they were in a gold fish bowl every one decided to leave the room give them some much needed privacy.

Dean let out a groan as Cas bit the hunter's bottom lip, completely submersed in pleasure, Dean continued kissing Cas walking her back into the wall before he had her pinned. She let out a moan as she hit the wall with some force.

Bobby led them to a large table book still in hand, sam sat beside him and read over his shoulder, Bobby made no attempt tp hide how this annoyed him, Ellen fetched more beer and jo put on some music, 'cant fight this feeling' the roadhouse wasn't best known for its thick walls and everyone including Bobby would rather listen to the song then the two in the study, when the song had finished, it was time to break up their party. then had serious work to do questions that needed answering.

* * *

Back in the study Cas' coat was once again forgotton about as they threw it to the ground. Dean's hands were well every where and he was in the middle of biting the angel's chest on the side of her left breast and listening to her gasp. He ran his teeth down her skin, bit then sucked and then let go, he admired the mark he made and all he wanted to do was bite her again harder, but he didn't want to hurt the angel.

When he felt his breathless lovers grip on his head push him back to her skin wanting more. He lost control and growled as he bite into her skin tasting her and hearing her whimpers. the feel of Dean's teeth was electric and when he bit, it did hurt but it sent tingles down her body and it numbered the pain and made it feel good, she gasped, pulled Deans hair and scratched his back, egging him on more.

Dean's eyes rolled to the back of his head as he felt Cas' reactions and his hands slid down to her ass and pulled them even closer lifting her legs around his waist. He bit let go and bit again, sending new waves of shivering pleasure and pain over her body.

but after a short amount of time Cas had to push him off, Dean had gotten a little carried away and it had began to really hurt, nearly drawing blood, of course Dean stopped when he asked. Dean instantly broke out of his animistic urges and looked apologetic but no words were needed not with Cas. he lowered his mouth and kissed lightly over her skin that was red and had obvious deep teeth marks that would soon bruise, well a human it would begin to bruise in a few hours but Dean didn't know how quickly angels healed. And he prayed he would never have to find out.

"Okay, okay times up!" Ellen shouted from the bar. "Oi, get your asses in here you have things to discuss!"

the couple chuckled slightly at hearing Ellen's shout and her distant mumbles to the others around her. Cas cupped Dean's face and bent down and softly pressed their lips together before pulling away slowly and speaking lips inches apart.

"Come on, we're needed."

All Dean wanted to do was disagree with her and make her stay with him, just him, but he felt as guilty as hell for hurting her. So after quickly adjusting himself so that mini-dean was not noticeable as it stood to full attention in his restricting jeans, and Cas put Dean's jacket back on, favouring it to the trench coat. They left the study joining the others around a large table they did have serious things to discuss.

They Both hoped the prominent bite mark that was very red and swore on Cas' chest was not on the agenda.

* * *

**Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it.**

**okay so I have no idea if what I wrote about following the fragments of cas' spell to bring the creature to them even made sense but there you go...it is fiction lol XD**

**the next chapter tbh I haven't started yet, but i know what will happen, mostly. so hopeful i'll get it on here tomorrow, if dont get the next chapter up then it'll be up on monday**  
**even if its ready sunday, im visiting my foster mum and then go to work, so forgive me but i'll be busy lol ^_^**

**anyway please review tell me what you think of the story so far**  
**xxxx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hope you all enjoy the chapter**  
**thank you to those that have reviewed it really means a lot xxxxxx**

**once again bare with any mistakes, I did go through it many times so if there are still mistakes; I really need new glasses lol but they will be corrected in time XD**

* * *

Cas and Dean silently made there way to the table, all eyes watching them on the way. As Cas sat down no one missed the mark they couldnt if they tired, Dean's teeth imprint stood out against the angels fair skin, whilst every one else willing to ignore it, it was Sam that decided to say something, well he intended to he was rather taken back by it.

"how? Why? You..." Sam's eyebrows rose as he searched for support from everyone else, none of them gave any, they were happy not to get involved. "You weren't even in there for that long!"

Cas shifted in her seat she didn't like all attention she was getting so wrapped Dean's jacket around herself tighter to cover the mark. Dean on the other hand had gotten over the guilt and was rather proud of him self, Sam grimaced in response to thesmirk Dean shot him. Dean casually put an arm around Cas, she lent into and relaxed against his warm body, Sam rolled his eyes at Dean and looked at Bobby to continue with the discussion.

"When you've finished," Bobby started "the spell should have worked. Damned if I know why it didn't."

"Whatever it was it was strong, very powerful." Ellen looked at her daughter and was thankful they hadn't managed to bring the thing to them; she didn't want anything to happen to Jo. "It's good it didn't work."

"We know one thing, whatever it is, it's a powerful son of a bitch and isn't just some witch or crazy low level demon."

"Right Dean so what would this creature want with Cas, and why gender swap seems a little juvenile don't you think?"

"I don't know Sammy."

Jo was bored she had no answers and didnt pretend she did, after noticing Cas was still lacking clothes and Sam's wondering eyes, along Bobby's obvious attempt not to have a quick look, Jo thought of somthing to do.

"Mum, can I get Cas into clothes, its not like I'm going to be much help here anyway."

"Sure thing."

Jo left the table as the other hunters carried on speculating what it could be. Cas was staring at the table. Sadness filled her eyes that and a hint of guilt, she knew what she had to do, after a deep breath Cas opened her mouth to finally speak, when Jo came bounding back in with all the bags from the impala and before Cas could speak she was dragged into the back room. Dean watched as Jo retched cas from his embrace, cold absent feeling washed over him instantly.

"Where is she taking Cas?"

"Relax, Cas is getting what seems to be a make over."

Ellen reassured Dean who did not agree with Jo taking his angel away

"What why?"

"Because boy, you might be alright with her walking around half naked but the rest of us want to see her in proper clothes."

With that Dean kept quiet feeling slightly embarrassed. Sam fetched more books and Bobby began repeating the spell to the others who translated it and tried to find a loophole to see if it didn't work on certain creatures.

* * *

2 hours, 3 arguments, 4 books and 5 rounds later, they decided on a break. It was only now did they realise Jo and Cas were still absent. Ellen looked over at Dean who has long been silent, he was staring at Cas' empty seat remembering the angel that occupied it.

"Jo! Bring Cas back, Dean's starting to pine."

Ellen called, Sam and even Bobby sniggered as Dean shot Ellen a look who merely smiled back. He cleared his throat and got up to fetch a beer, he lent over the bar and opened the cool glass bottle, he could smell the alcohol it was inviting and familiar. Jo came back into the room and sat back down with a huge grin plastered on her face, she bit her bottom lip from the anticipation eyes fixed on Dean waiting for the show to begin, the look in her eyes coursed every one else to do the same.

As Dean put the glass to his lips he heard the sound of women's high heels, Dean turned what he saw in the door way blew his mind, his eyes widened and mouth fell open a drop. At the shock of seeing Cas looking to humanly beautiful he dropped his beer, like one of those freaking douches from a chick flick he drop his beer at the sight of the angel. Everyone started sniggering fighting back the urge to full on belly laugh. Thankfully the bottle stayed in one piece and Dean clumsily bent down to stop it spilling everything over the floor and picked it up.

A gentle smile appeared on Cas' face as he watched Dean's reaction to her. As Dean stood straight again he cleared his throat and smiled like a dork trying to brush of the embarrassment of a moment ago. The smile faded to glaring as he turned back to the table were everyone was staring at him amusement clear on their faces.

It was only when Cas started walking towards them did everyone else look at the new Cas, everyone had the same reaction to Dean, minus the spill.

Not being used to heels at all Cas walked very slowly with concentration embedded deep within her face. She wore grey leather lace up boots with a three inch heel with black skinny jeans tucked into them, with a long top that stopped at slender hip level, her hair hung in loose soft curls by her face. It was modest but undeniably sexy in Dean's eyes and apparently Bobby's and Sam's too who had to avert their eyes. Dean walked up to Cas.

"Hey looking good."

"Thank you, it feels weird. Confining." Dean chuckled as Cas pulled at the waist band of her jeans, she looked up at Dean's grinning face and cupped his cheek stroking his cheek with her thumb smiling softly as she stared into the troubled but honest human eyes that had acted at the angels anchor to earth since the pitt, "I never thanked you."

"for what?"

"for kissing me when I was Jimmy."

"Cas, you don't have to thank me."

"I do, it made me truly realise its not just about the vessel, so thank you."

"Cas its about you. Sam said something to me earlier that made me realise,"

"Realise what?"

"My future…you're it."

If Cas blushed slightly and if she didn't no any better she could have sworn she saw Dean's eyes glaze over with unshed tears. Cas beamed with uncontrollable happiness at Dean's unexpected words that were so genuine and full of love.

It was Ellen that broke one of their staring session, there was no doubt in anyone's mind that they were both mind fucking the other. Ellen cleared her throat, loudly so that the lustful pair jumped slightly as they were pulled back to reality, they turned and reluctantly started to walk towards the table. Cas held Dean's arm after stumbling slightly she didn't think much of heels, all they did was put you at a height your not used too, restrict your walking and make you more prone to accidents.

They slowly made their way back to the table, as Cas sat down she realised how much shoes can effect your feet as she suddenly felt blood rush to them and throb with pain.

"I don't like these shoes dean."

"why did you buy them then?"

Ellen asked sounding a little annoyed they were still not getting down to business.

"I didn't Dean paid and Amy chose them, I was happy to stay in the flip flops-I believe there called, that Sam got when I first changed, Amy disagreed."

"who's Amy?"

Sam asked realised he was completely lost

"it doesn't matter there are more important things."

"Yes Ellen's right."

Cas agreed and turned to hear the answers they had come up with, thankfully none came.

"Cas, can you tell us exactly what happened?"

* * *

Jo was watching Cas, she seemed nervous and on edge not like normal, it was more intense. "Cas are you alright?" Cas nodded but didn't look her in the eye, which worried Jo even more, she felt guilty asking but she had to, "Cas do you know who did this?"

"Joanna-Beth!"

Everyone was shocked and all eyes glared at her, expect Cas' who's were still on the table.

"I was on my way to," Cas began but realised he didn't know where he was going so shrugged. "I had finished my search for a while, I decided to fly to find somewhere to go…"

"Why didn't to come to me, us?"

"I wasn't needed. As I was flying I found my self struggling to keep focus, my eye lids became heavy and vision blurry, after a flash of white light I…I don't remember. I felt time pass, I could feel the sunrises and sunsets, rise and fall of temperature, I felt the wind and sun, but it was dark I suppose I was unconscious…when I woke up I was this, after getting Deans phone call I thought you were in trouble so I came to the motel room."

"Wait hold up Cas, you told me and Dean, the phone call woke you up."

Cas' faces flushed red, the angel wasn't being altogether honest that much was obvious.

"Cas?"

No one not even Dean, was sure weather he sounded more angry or hurt that he was lied too, by an angel no less. After no answer from Cas Dean got up and walked away, typical Winchester move if something got to deep or to personal run, run away from the situation, but the situation was chasing him as Cas instantly got out her seat to peruse the elder Winchester.

"Dean."

Cas approached him, his jaw clenched tight, he didn't know how he was feeling but knew it wasn't anything good. They stared at each other Cas' eyes screaming out for understanding of the secret she hadn't confessed yet and Deans were full of confusion and pain.

"The truth Cas."

Everyone was now standing gathered around the lovers, needing just as much as Dean to hear Cas' story.

"So what?" Bobby sounding frustrated and rightfully pissed off. "Have we just wasted a day researching for nothing?"

"Cas do you know who did this to you?"

Sam asked praying for an answer that wouldn't enrage everyone in the room and break Dean's heart.

* * *

**thank you for reading ^_^**

**okay so the chapter didnt go exactly how I planned so I split it into two lol but hope you liked it anyway**

**like I put on the last chapter today was a busy day but I have a free minute so here it is XD so fingers crossed for an update probably tuesday**

**please review, the button is right there lol xxx**


	14. Chapter 14

**So sorry its up later then i thought it would be **

**hope you enjoy the story. xxx**

* * *

"Cas do you know who did this to you?"

Sam asked praying for an answer that wouldn't enrage everyone in the room and break Dean's heart.

All eyes were on the angel who was staring at the floor head hung low, her silence was enough of an answer for Dean. He felt betrayed, rejected, like his stomach had just swallowed his lungs, making him feel sick and it impossible to breath, though he found it impossible to slow his breathing down, he vented anger beyond any he has ever felt before. His fists clenched, blunt finger nails digging into his skin. It was when Cas looked at him, with those soulful eyes did dean snapped.

He swung hitting the angel square in the face punching her as hard as he could, although being an angel her head merely reacted and caused her minimal pain. Dean was pulled back by Sam, after seeing the punch did nothing he anger was tripled and lunged to have another go, the searing pain in his hand was not registered by Dean as he struggled to get free of Sam's grip and passed everyone that had gathered around him to stop him doing anything too rash.

"I was right last night, you are a manipulative bitch."

Dean spat out the words at Cas, his words cut her deep, she hadn't meant to hurt anyone.

"Dean please…"

There was desperation and regret deep in her voice, Jo suddenly turned to face the angel, face red she looked nearly as angry and hurt as dean, without a word she slaped Cas in the face it was a full on bitch slap, this was follow suit by Ellen before they stepped aside and sat back at the table.

"She's all yours sweetie, I'm not going to stop you." Ellen informed Dean and Jo agreed, Dean was still struggling against the surprising strength on his younger brother. Sam shot Ellen and Jo a look before looking back at dean.

"Sam let me go."

"No, Dean I'm not going to let you go and do something stupid."

"I don't plan too."

"What you class as stupid and was everyone else does are two completely different things."

"haha Sammy, I just want to feel my hands around that bitches neck!"

"You can't hurt her"

"It'll make me feel better"

"No it will make you break something."

Sam glanced down at his brother's fist, his hand was red and knuckles were slightly purple, Dean looked to and suddenly all the pain from that punch washed over. He couldn't stop the sticky hot tears tat fell if he tried. Dean stormed out the room. When he was out of sight Sam turned to Cas.

"Don't think for one minute I did that for you, that was for Dean."

Sam then joined the girls at the table all of them glaring at her, none more so then Sam who was pulled the best bitch face out of all of them. Cas looked over at the table and then to Bobby who during the commotion had slummed himself at the bar and helped himself to another beer. Bobby looked at Cas as he felt her eyes on him.

"don't look at me, I'm staying out of this one, the only reason I haven't hit you myself is that I not stupid enough to swig for an angel."

Cas was slightly thankful for this, although it didnt hurt her she was getting tired of being hit. After one more glance around she started moving towards the study and towards Dean. He was pacing the floor, anger positively rolling of his skin.

"Dean."

Deans eyes shot up and glared, full on death glared at her.

"what?"

"Let me explain."

"Piss off!"

Cas went to her trench coat still on the floor and dug deep into on of the pockets, she pulled out an old looking piece of brown cloth it was folded and Cas was gentle with it, she put it on the table near Dean.

"When your ready, I'll tell you."

Then with a flicker of wings that pierced through the heavy awkward tension that hung thick in the air, before Deans eyes she was gone.  
Dean was angry but he was more then that, he was deeply upset and felt betrayed. Although this, to see Cas leave fly away to unknown places to face unknown dangers hurt him like it did every time.

Dean picked up the cloth it left like velvet through looked dull and rough, Dean unfolded it and saw many enochian symbols written over the coarse material.

"the fuck?"

Dean mumbled to himself, he had no clue what this was or what it meant, then Dean thought he had the best hunters out there sitting in the next room, one of them should know what it means.

Dean was more composed now and walked into the bar, head held high. He tossed the cloth down on the table, all eyes followed it and everyone had the same confused expression on their faces.

"Cas gave it to me, any ideas?"

Eventually all eyes ended up on bobby, if anyone knew what it was, it would be him.

"Damned if I know."

Bobby told everyone as he shrugged roughly.

"Did Cas say anything?"

Sammy asked his brother as he picked up the cloth and examined it closely.

"Just that I'll know when I'm ready…what ever the fuck that means."

"She probably means when you've calmed down and everyone stops taking a swig at her."

Everyone agreed with bobby, Jo suddenly felt quite guilty at turning on Cas when she stood up for her with Dean.

"Dean maybe you could give her a chance to explain."

"What!"

"she must have reasons."

"Jo she lied to me, all of us and a moment ago you were slapping her and now your supporting her."

"she made a mistake you've made your fair share."

"well she's a angel she shouldn't."

"she more human now Dean, and for you she would stay that way."

Dean sighed a heavy confused sight, Ellen gently put her hand over one of Deans tightly clenched fists.

"It's up to up to sweetie but…"

"What?" Dean sighed feeling defeated he had enough of all the drama of the today.

"...10 minutes ago you told that angel she was your future" Dean blushed at this as his jaw clenched he hadn't meant anyone to hear that. "do you still feel like that?"

Sam sat slightly amused at the sight of Ellen playing mum to dean who was well and truly acting like a 5 year old.

"no" Dean snapped at her proving Sam's point completely.

"Really? Or are you just really pissed off?"

"Both."

It was clear Ellen was getting impatient at Dean who was supposed to be a grown man, he had been and done hell seen and acted out countless horrors, yet here he is pouting over an angel.

"Dean."

"Alright! Alright jeez you guys don't give up."

Dean stood and got out his phone, he paced nervously as he dialled, like a teenager calling their crush to arrange a date. Dean listened to the ringing, he heard Cas pick up the phone she didn't speak but he could hear the soft breathe coming from those soft lips.

"Cas…please come back."

Not sooner had Dean finished his request was the angel standing right in front of him. Cas' eyes were watery and mouth open, she wanted to say something but was lost from words, finally Cas managed to speak she quietly and gently spoke as if she was a hunter trying to lure a deer into a trap- of course Cas wasn't trying to trap Dean.

"I'm sorry."

She told Dean, through the phone they still had placed to their ears.

"Yeah me too."

Dean answered again through the phone. It wasn't until Sam cleared his throat did ean realised they were still on the phone and still staring at each other.

"What's this Cas?"

Sam asked sounding frustrated at having no clue and wanted answer.

"The spell."

Dean chuckled slightly to himself as Sammy face, he was not amused at Cas' lack of explanation. The hunter moved close to the angel and slipped his hands around her waist, pulling her close for a hug, Cas was surprised and smiled and she caressed Dean back.

"I'm sorry I hit you."

"It didn't hurt."

"I still shouldn't have."

"Thank you."

Dean cupped Cas' face and gently kissed her lips, through the huge smile plastered on both their faces. Bobby simply rolled his eyes fed up with all the bloody drama, whilst Jo and Ellen although tried to keep a straight face pulled a girly 'aww' face at the sight of the two made up.

Smile cleared his throat again wanting to get down to business, with an eye roll from Dean he took Cas by the hand and led him to a chair, Cas was about to get his own when she was pulled into Dean's lap as the hunters arms rested around her body, and the girls did the face again.

"Cas you want to elaborate?"

"start at the beginning baby."

Dean told Cas and proudly didn't think twice or blush at calling Cas by a cute little nickname. Cas nodded and begun every one leaned in slightly, eager to hear the story.

"it doesn't take much to inflict a gender swap, many creatures can yeld such powers, witches and demons being just two. Although it is normally easy, it is near enough impossible to turn Jimmy's gender whilst its attached to an angel. Angels are supreme beings and very powerful, even with my diminished powers. So it would take a creature stronger and more powerful than I to manage such a spell.

"what's stronger than an angel?"

Sam asked naively, whilst Dean closed his eyes feeling like such an idiot

"A stronger angel, like an arc angel?"

"yes."

Sam and Dean had annoyed pissed off faces even Dean was sporting a little bitch face. Jo Ellen and Bobby had yet to catch up so were waiting on the next words with wide eyes.

"Don't say it Cas."

"Gabriel. When I woke up I quickly figured it out, no other arc angel would have such a sense of humour. He said that I should watch your reactions, and see what I feel about them. I didn't understand at first. But when I saw your face when I stepped out of the bathroom I understood. It was for a chance for us Dean. When you didn't let me leave that night Gabriel came and handed me that. He said if I burn it I got back to normal and it was up to me. Then he said to have fun."

"so he did us a favour?" Dean asked slightly surprised at Cas' story, bobby grunted

"not for us, we just wasted a day researching on your behalf, why didn't you tell us earlier?"

"Because Dean only showed interest when I was in this form. I liked it I thought that if I told you I would have to go back and Dean would forget me again. Sorry if that makes me a bitch."

It was strange Cas actually sounded like she had some attitude like a…girl.

"Oh Cas."

They looked at each other, and dean pouted again this time not in a 'I'm so moody unintentional way' but a enduring but rather disturbing 'look at me I'm so cute, now kiss me' way, it made Cas smile and lean down to Dean and lightly kiss her lover on the lips.

"when you ijits are down, what are we going to do about this spell?"

Cas shrugged and Dean rested his head on Cas' back, he could surprisingly hear Cas' racing heart beat. Suddenly Cas' stomach turned and the sharp pain she had been feeling in her abdomen got worse, and stood before Dean had chance to stop her.

Cas disappeared from sight a moment later reappearing next to Jo.

"you said if it happened, so come with me?"

Jo nodded to a very embarrassed and awkward looking Cas, and in a blink of an eye they was gone. The four hunters looked at each other with the same confided look.

"What the fuck was that?"

* * *

**the next chapter will be up very soon, I know I said that for this one, but I mean it its basically finished XD**

**Yes it was the naughty arc angel, but with good intensions for his little brother ^_^**

**please review and tell me what you think xxx**


	15. Chapter 15

Every 5 minutes Dean was phoning Cas but hadn't any luck, it had been a few hours since the two went off somewhere. When suddenly Jo emerged from the back room, it appears that Cas zapped them to the back of the roadhouse, Dean didn't even think that was a possibility.

"Jo what happened where the hell is Castiel?"

Dean asked frantically, as soon as he saw her enter the study.

"It's good to see you too Dean."

"Sorry but where is she? Is she okay?"

"she's okay" Jo went red slightly as she continued "she's just bleeding."

"is she hurt what happening!"

"no, she's _bleeding_."

Ellen smirked and laughed to herself, Dean and Sam both were still set deep in confusion, Bobby having being married for many years simply tutted to himself and put his nose back a book. When a light bulb came on in Sam's head.

"Wait. Are you telling us the angel is PMSing?"

"Dude! Of course not, are you? Is she?"

Jo nodded and sat next to her giggling mother.

"what? How is that even possible!"

"Ask her when he comes, just don't make fun okay, she embarrassed."

Sam snorted and Dean hit him on the back of his head and glared at him until he promised to be nice.

Cas soon walked in and a smirk instantly appeared in Sam's face he could barely control it. Dean walked straight up to Cas and hugged her holding her tight as she burst into, random tears.

"Cas, its okay, it okay. I've got you."

Dean soon let Cas go and they looked at each other, both looking as uncomfortable as the other.

"How? Erm Why? How erm?"

"is it possible? I suppose its because in not used to the female vessel, there more complex than males, they require more to keep the human side unconious and the angel dominate."

"wow so your like a full on girl."

"no Dean she's a young lady all grown up having periods"

Sammy spoke through laughter he couldn't control, Cas went bright red and Dean began fuming, he was going to hit his brother, but was beaten to the punch by Bobby

"show some respect boy."

Jo and Ellen also through a book at Sam for being a sexist idiot.

"ou! Yeah I'm sorry Cas."

"it's okay Sam."

Dean stroked Cas' face and looked loving into her eyes, before resting his forehead to the angels.

* * *

"Erm Dean? Have you two ask," Sam grimanced as he spoke "and I really don't want details, in fact I am praying for a yes no answer, but have you two slept together?"

"what! What has that got to do with anything…"

"Did you use a condom?"

"Sammy we haven…"

"Oh thanks just great, I know something stupid was going to happen."

"Sammy why is it so god dam important!"

"Because! If she can get periods, she can get pregnant! I bet you didn't even think about that, oh no never think before you act, my brother; a freaking genius!"

During Sam's ranted those words hit him like a ton of bricks, Cas could get pregnant. That didn't even cross his mind. Dean now couldn't stop thinking about kids, a family and sharing it with Cas, it made Dean want to smile but he didn't have time as he had to step in and stop his brother who was now nearly hyperventilating.

"will you just shut the fuck up and listen to me! I didn't sleep with her I couldn't, it just didn't seem right."

"why not?" Cas asked Dean, feeling a little hurt. Dean, worried cas was about to cry again went to her and cupped her cheek and spoke softly and lovingly to his lover.

"because you were Cassie, not Cas. Not my Cas. And it didn't want to sleep with you before you knew,"

"know what? DeanIdon't understand"

"I love you Castiel, I do, I fell for you sometime after you pulled me from the pitt and before youtoldme about the freaking devil. I didn't understand it; the feelings were strange and very strong. I ignored it but it was always there."

"but you love this body."

"I loved the other one too, all this one did was make me realise that. Cas I didn't fall for a man or a woman, I fell for an angel. I fell for you."

"Dean I love you"

Both hunter and angel beamed smiles at each other as Dean stole a quick kiss from Cas, as Dean pulled away his lips were caught again by Cas who kissed him with love and passion, when they parted Cas continued,

"And you deserve something normal, something good in you life, me being in male form would hinder that."

"No it wouldn't. If you want to stay a woman then great, but if you don't and you want to go back to being a guy then you should know that, I'm not going anywhere."

"You're not gay Dean."

"I am for you. Anyway it's not about how I feel, it's about how you feel. Which body feels most comfortable?"

"you know I lied to you."

"Again?"

"when I told you angels don't have genders, in the strictest sense we don't, but we feel more comfortable, more connected to one then the other, we seem to fit more into that gender. For instance Anna preferred female vessels always did and Uriel, Uriel really didn't suit female vessels and I…"

"You're more a man."

"Yes."

"I thought so,"

"But I'm willing to stay this for you Dean."

"No. I don't want you to, don't get me wrong your boobs are amazing and don't even get me started on your ass, but I kinda miss my holy tax accountant."

* * *

"so shall we burn the parchment?"

"no." At this answer from Dean every ones eyes shot up in shook, what was Dean up to? "could you do that in nine months?"

"huh?"

"you said you wanted me to have something good, something normal."

"yes."

"would that include a family?"

"hold up! Rewind and freeze. Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting? You want to use Cas' body for a freaking baby!" Dean nodded everyone in the room was open mouthed including Cas. "Oh dear god I wish I'd never said anything."

"I think it would be neat to be a dad."

Cas touched deans arma nd grabbed his attenton, cas seemed confused and a little worried which made dean heart sink.

"Dean that would make it part angel. I don't know how that will work."

"it would also be part of us, it would be ours."

"since when were you the dad type boy?"

A concerned Bobby asked from across the room.

"since I raised Sammy from a baby." Dean turned and told Bobby, then looked back to Cas. "I want a family Cas, I want one with you. I want a future with you, it wasn't until I was faced with the possibility did I realise how much."

Sam covered his face feeling like an idiot for ever opening his mouth, but as his face was covered he began to think and a small smile appeared on sams face; his brother sounded happy, hopeful dean sounded happy. Cas smiled and Dean rested his forehead against Cas' and Dean ran a hand up and down Cas' arm softly. they were both trying to sort the idea out in there own heads just needing a secong to think.

* * *

"Well, well this I never expected."

Came a cocky voice from the entrance of the room. Everyone turned and found a smirking arc angel in the door way.

"sex yes, But love?"

"what the hell do you want?"

"calm down Dean my boy, just popped in to see how my little bro, well sis is doing. Looks like you are doing very well. I expected sex, get all that tension and desire out the way, but a future and a kiddie? Well that is just too precious."

"Fuck off Gabriel."

Dean snapped and wanted to punch him but remembered the last time he tried something stupid like that.

"what do you want?"

Sam asked sounding angry at his sudden uninvited intrusion.

"Just wanted to let you know what you want to do, create a baby. Its dangerous for the baby and Cas. It will leave you weakened as you will need to use much of your grace to shield little baba from your true form, which if little baba is exposed to it will deep fry it. Castiel you will basically be human. It will leave both you and Dean weak and vulnerable."

There seemed to be genuine concern in Gabriel's voice, after all this was his brother. Gabriel soon disappeared and Cas and Dean were left staring at each other both will concerned eyes.

"Well isn't your brother the tiding of freaking awesome news."

"Dean he's right it's dangerous."

"No baby he's not. We can do this." Dean looked around at the others in the room, there was a mix of concerned and excited faces for them. "what do you guys think?"

Ellen stood and moved over the them putting a hand on their shoulder.

"It's up to you two, what ever you decide we'll support. Now I'm going to get some vodka and beer, either to wet the baby's head or toast Cas' manhood either way lets get drunk."

Jo and Bobby snorted and agreed and followed Ellen out, Sam was silent as he sat there no moving, he hand removed his hand and was watching the way the angel and his brother were with each other, it was sort of, cute. Deansaw this and approached his baby brother

"Sammy are you alright? with this?" Dean asked gesturing to Cas.

"Yeah, its just strange."

"Dude all our lives are is strange."

"Yes but this is, almost normal, you talking about futures and baby's, the whole angel and spell thing aside."

"Yeah freaky isn't it."

"You really want this don't you." Dean nodded and Sam smile and hugged his elder brother. "I'm happy for you. Don't mess it up."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence Sammy."

Sam left the room and joined the others doing shots, Sam couldn'thelp but think that they drink an alarmingly large amount, but they do have an alarmly large amount of reasons to drink, considering their life style, brooze just goes with the job.

Dean turned back to Cas, who hadn't went with everyone else that went to the bar, she was standing stiff and rigid, face in deep thought. She soon snapped out of it when Dean took her hand. A smile crept onto Cas' face at the feel of contact, she kissed Dean slowly and softly Dean's hand cupped Cas' face slowly stroking it with his thumb, each stroke sent tingles over Cas' body. It was at this moment the angel knew she really was in love and that Dean's words had been true.

"Cas I know you have concerns, I do too. Believe me I know the gravity and seriousness of the choice im giving you. We don't have to do this if you don't want, it's up to you baby."

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**Hope you enjoyed the chapter ^_^**

**please review and tell me what you think xxx**

**I haven't started writing the next chapter, so reviews would really help me there lol. but it should be up before to long xxx**


	16. Chapter 16

**I am so sorry this took forever to put up, but I started university and my stories sadly have taken a back seat but im getting back in the wing of writting them again so hopefuly it shouldnt be to long for another update.**

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Dean and Cas had their eyes closed and foreheads gently resting against each others their breathing was slow and soothingly sequenized. There was no noise apart from the drunken hunters in the next room, though as dean stood with his angel they felt worlds apart from the room filled with drunken laughter and past stories. The hunter and the angel were in a small quiet room filling with tension, questions and desire. After the longest time Dean opened his eyes and looked to Cas, eyes shut and her face looked truly relaxed, but appearances can well and truly be dissevering- if her stiffer than usual posture was anything to go by she was just as nervous as Dean. An almost painful amount of time went by in silence before Dean plucked up the courage to talk.

"Cas?"

"hmmm." Cas replied simply with eyes still shut.

"We should talk." Dean had barley enough time to finish his sentence when after a sharp piercing sound of the flutter of wings the two were back in the motel room. "I said talk not fly."

"We can talk privately now."

Dean nodded in agreement, and fidgeted a little uncomfortably. When he caught the angels eye, he just knew a complete chick flick talk was coming. Dean was not the best at these things, so the prospect of fucking it up and offending her was making him even more nervous. But after all this was Cas he was always better at everything when in the presence of the angel, whether because he upped his game when possibly being compared to such grace or whether it was because Cas brought out the best in him he didn't know which but he liked the effect Cas had on him.

Dean walked to the old wooden table and sat on one of the equally battered chairs before gesturing to Cas to join him. Cas sat slowly opposite the hunter keeping eye connect Dean seemed to squirm under her gaze, the reality of the suggestion he gave her seemed to hit him, no way would Cas agree Cas was an angel no way would he agree to play house. Dean started fiddling with his fingers that were resting on the table. It was strange Dean thought when he came across the pain fighting away the tears caused him, he could let Cas see him cry. Dean Winchester doesn't do guilt trips well not to Cas anyway.

There was silence, it was Dean that suggested for them to talk in the first place but he couldn't think of what to say, poor Dean was nervous and dreading putting his foot in it. Cas' face softened and head tilted slightly as his heart wrenched at the sight of Dean in obvious internal confusion. The angel reached over the table and gently touched the hunters clammy hands, they instant stopped moving and squeezed the smooth warm hand back his racing thumbing heart instantly calmed though his touch did mean Dean could now hear his calming heart beat thumping in his ears.

"It's okay Dean I'm nervous too."

"I just don't want to say the wrong thing"

"Then speak from the heart; then it can never be the wrong thing."

"Okay, the truth?"

"The truth."

"I'm tired Cas. I'm tired of this life. I hate moving from room to room, never having a home cooked meal or having washing up to do. I want a home, an address. Neighbours to moan about, kids to worry about and above all of that. I want someone to share it with."

Cas listened closely he heard truth and desperation crocking in Dean's voice.

"You want to be normal."

"Yes."

"Well you're not Dean, you could never be normal."

"You don't want a family with me?"

Dean weakly asked, eyes filled with tears as he gave Cas the puppy eyes, so much for no guilt tripping. But screw it Dean thought Cas was systematically crushing his dream all the daydreams and wishes he's had for years are being excrushionaily slowly destroyed, Cas was killing him.

"Dean…its not about want, its about…"

"You're right, It's not. It's about what your scared to want. But you don't have to be, not with me."

"Dean…"

"Please, let's try honesty. You say you love me but do you want a family with a life a home. Do you want me?"

A painful silence that seemed to last a life time creped up on them, Dean jerked his hands away from Cas' sweet touch and looked at her, no answer came form those sweet tender lips and the deafening silence was just too much for Dean. He got up and walked away "Don't worry, I get the message." Dean told her and he turned and walked trying not to stop until he was out of sight of the so called angel, where he can then fittingly break down. He didn't get to far Cas quickly stood up and followed the hunter across the room, and swung him around to face her. Both faces were red and eyes wet.

"Dean, I do want you, by god I do and more then anything I want what you're offering. But however much you dress it up you know it's impossible. You have a job, you have a life."

Although Cas was still saying no Dean couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face at hearing Cas tell him she wanted everything, she wanted it all and that she wanted it with him.

"screw my job baby, and my life? Castiel you are my life."

It was now Cas that couldn't help beaming a bright loving smile at Dean. It was more then enough of an invite to Dean. So he lent into the angel and crushed his lips to the slightly dry but full and sweet lips of his angel, and Cas met dean's in the same passionate loving way and they shared a rather heated kiss filled with tongue, groans and teeth. Dean moved his hand to Cas' neck and caressed it gently as he pulled slightly, deepening the kiss even more- if that were possible.

"Dean." Cas spoke into the hunters mouth whilst dean groaned back telling Cas to shush and to keep kissing this amused Cas, but when she started pushing slightly at his shoulders. Dean got the hint and reluctantly pulled away and stared into those big beautiful eyes of ocean blue, waiting for his wonderfully delicious angel to speak.

"I would love to have a family with you."

Dean slowly moved towards Cas and to her surprised skipped her eager lips and kissed her gently on the cheek and whispered.

"I love you so much."

Cas flung her arms around Dean and held him close as she whispered back "I love you too." Both hunter and angel smiled into each others shoulders dean even shed a little tear, he was finally going to get out of this shitty life he was going to be normal, he was going to be happy.

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**I assure everyone that castiel will be back in male form soon enough so dont worry lol ^_^**

**Thank you for reading, please, please, please review and tell me what you think xxx**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hope you enjoy this chapter**

**sorry it's quite short**

**sorry if there are any mistakes here ^_^ xxx**

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It's been 3 months since Cas and Dean decided to try for a baby, they went to the free family planning clinic to get some advice about fertility and Cas' cycle. Something both hunter and angel found extremely embarrassing. The first time they had sex it was protected, Dean wanted Cas' first time to be special to be about the angel and not about trying to create something, it should just be about the love and it was. So after Cas ended her first ever period Dean wasted no time in laying her down upon expensive silk four star hotel sheets- Dean wanted everything to be perfect so he splashed out for a hotel instead of a crummy motel they were used to.

Back to three months later, Cas was sitting at the edge of the end watching Dean brush his teeth, he was in mere boxers and just the sight of that had turned Cas on somewhat. Although horny both Dean and Cas felt and worried and distracted at the same time, tonight was there last night on earth, well that's what they figured, tomorrow they go against Sam starring as the devil. So tonight they were using a condom tonight was about love they wanted to share the night with each other, express themselves not create life if they weren't going to have one. If they survive which may or may not happen, more likely the latter they at least had tonight, they had each other.

Dean turned around from the sink and saw Cas on the bed looking at him. Her eyes were dark and sad, it pulled at Dean's heart strings way too much to be healthy.

"You alright?"

Cas nodded but convinced no one. Dean moved to sit next to Cas put an arm around the quivering women and held her tight. Cas then burst into tears clinging to Dean for support who was very willing to give it, her sobs was quiet and torturers to witness, she was trying so hard to keep them in.

"Listen to me baby, its all going to be okay, we're going to get through this and tomorrow well all go for a drink and celebrate a new world."

"Do you really believe that Dean?"

"No. The way we live, it was always going to end bloody, I just wish we could have gotten out of this life sooner, but the apocalypse, its bigger then us its bigger then everything, if I am to die tomorrow I die saving the world or trying, either way, I die for you."

"I have died for you once Dean, it will be an honour to do it again."

There was silence for the longest time, lovers staring deep into each other. They both leaned into each other and gave each other a gentle loving kiss.

"I love you."

Dean spoke into Cas' mouth in the mist of the kiss. They pulled away Cas raised his hand and stroked deans face,

"I will always love you."

"Cas?"

"yes dean."

"tonight, can? Can I just hold you?"

* * *

The next morning the lovers woke up in each others arms, they woke up in bliss from being together, but soon deep dread set in of what is about to come. What they were about to do and what they were no doubt about to loose, each other.

"Morning darling."

"Hello dean."

"You ready?"

"Always."

They got up and dressed and were about to leave the room to meet Sam who was already waiting by the impala and who was holding the most dread and sorrow on his shoulders and anybody on earth because who ever wins today he will still most certainly loose. Dean stopped Cas when she got to the door and held her hand.

"Marry me."

"What?"

"If we survive this, after we have our baby and are family, and once you're rightfully a man again, Can I make you my husband?"

A smile spread widely over the blushing angels face, tears cascaded down her cheeks, and unable to answer she nodded and kissed her charge as an answer. Dean kissed back and pinned Cas against the door as they continued.

* * *

"Took you long enough" Sam told them when they finally appeared out of the motel room, all three were sporting smirks as they got into the car. Dean drove whilst Sam called shot gun. This was his last drive with his older brother so Cas gladly and graciously sat in the back. They decided not to tell Sam about them being engaged, it would just be another thing Sam would have to know that he would miss.

"Dean, promise me something."

"What's that Sammy?"

"When you survive this, don't look back, don't look for me just live your life, go live a normal apple pie life with Cas, for me Dean."

"If we survive. I love you baby brother, what you're about to do…"

"I know, it's okay I'm okay just promise me you'll live a life you can be proud of, raise your child in home, with a real family-without the monsters. I wish I could see it. Live a life for me Dean."

"I promise Sammy."

"You promise too Cas, you look after him you hear."

"Of course Sam."

All three were now in unashamed tears, as they came to the place that destiny has seemed to have brought them.

That night Dean lay on another motel bed in the fully restored angels embrace with tears streaming uncontrollably down his red blotchy face, clinging desperately Castiel.

"It's okay Dean."

"How can you say that?"

"The world is still here."

"Sam isn't. You have your wings back, your faith; you could rule heaven why would you stay here? All I have is my brother in a hole."

"You have me Dean, always. I'm not going anywhere." Dean looked up and Cas, she gently wiped the tears from his face before kissing him gently on the forehead. "I intend to keep my promise."

Dean smiled weakly and rested his head back against the angel's warm body, they stayed that way for the longest of times, with no need to move and no will to do so they stayed. Cas running her fingers threw Dean's short coarse hair as he continually wept silently for his brother, for the world.


	18. Chapter 18

**sorry it took forever**

**but if you makes you feel better it finished of the chapter instead of revising for a mock exam tomorrow lol**

**sorry for any mistakes that I missed X**

**enjoy the chapter ^_^ X**

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It's been a year since the defeat of Lucifer which cost them the life of Sam and nearly there own. God made Cas into a fully fledged angel again, through still effected by Gabriel's spell the angels vessel was still female and Castiel remained slightly human but not much, she was no where near as human as she was before the battle. Due to this complication they have found it impossible to conceive, after a routine visit to the clinic they found that Cas was virtually infertile. The chances of conceiving a baby and keeping it the full nine months were very slim.

They both cried at the news, Cas was still full of hope and faith which inturn gave Dean strength, so they continued to try in their two bedroom flat in the suburbs of Lorance. They decided to go back to the beginning back to where everything had started all those years ago, when Dean lost his child hood forever at the tender age of four. Dean wanted to go back to his roots try to find some part of their normal life they never got to have and follow it, lead Cas and his family on the right path away from danger, monsters and death every two minutes. Dean was sitting on his second hand leather sofa flicking through the channels on the TV in front of him, there was nothing on like always.

"Dean."

"Yeah honey." Dean called casually over his shoulder to the voice that came from the bathroom before returning his attention back to the TV. There was no answer so he got up to see what she wanted "What is it Cassie?" Dean asked as he entered the bathroom to find Cas sitting on the edge of the bath in tears. Deans arms wrapped instantly around the angel. "Hey Cas look at me. What happened baby?"

Cas passed a plastic object into Deans hands, it was a pregnancy test, Dean didn't want to look. And even convinced himself that the tears were of joy so forced his gaze down to his hands; negative. Dean boiled over in anger and desperation he threw the test across the room as he screamed out of the pain and anger he was feeling, falling to his knees his head hung low out of energy to do anything else.

"I'm sorry." Came a meek voice from the shattered looking woman,

"No." Dean said instantly crawling over to Cas holding her hands as he spoke to her. "It's not your fault you hear me? It's not, we'll keep trying okay we'll keep trying. Everything will be okay."

"Dean its useless."

"No, no it's not."

"It won't work, my grace it won't allow a baby to grow."

"what happened to your faith!"

The angel was speechless, not two months ago it was Cas that was assuring Dean all he needed was faith as she taught him to pray and here they were an angel about to give up faith ina miracle. She sat in silence, Cas was an angel by definition she was faith hope and grace, but Cas was finding it harder and harder to have faith when the one thing she has ever asked for herself in a millennia of loyal service the one thing she wants has been denied to her. Cas was weaker then she had ever been even as a human her emotions were running riot enhanced by the hormone pills she was popping to try and help conception. Cas had little energy and motivation to do anything, she felt drained most the time and considering it was half two in the morning rightfully tired. So Dean gently picked the almost sleeping woman up and carried her to their bedroom. After tucking her in and kissing the sleeping angel with tear stained cheeks on the forehead Dean left. Out the room out the flat and into the impala. Speeding off to the one place he thought perhaps had some answers. Dean was going to try it Cas' way, Dean was going to visit God.

The impala screeched to a holt outside an old abandoned majestic looking building, hard to make out in the darkness but it has stood tall and firm for many years, a building full of hope, faith and grace. The doors were locked but that meant nothing for the pissed of ex hunter that wanted in, he could have picked the locked quite easily but it was just so much more satisfying to use a crow bar and foot to kick it in. Dean strolled in and stood in the middle on the old abandoned church arms outstretched at his sides staring at the tall marble ceiling. Angry tears staining his flushed face as he screamed.

"WHY! Haven't we given enough, huh. After all we've done for you after all I've lost and after all Cas as served and you take this away! You're complete dicks you hear you son of a bitch!"

"now, now. No need for that."

Came a smooth slightly amused and charming voice form behind the exhausted and fuming man, as he turned and caught sight of who it was, Deans eyes wided. He did not expect a response from his screams, he had wanted to pray to ask for devine help but he couldn't, all he managed was to shout and rant out all he was feeling.

"Gabriel?"

"Bingo. What can I do for deanio haven't really heard much from you or my baby bro well sis in what feels like a year, we are family after all and you don't keep in touch, im hurt."

"can it you son of a bitch, why have you dicks done this? do you know what Cas is going through!"

"No more than Noah and his bloody boat, that was a very difficult and stressful time for poor Cassie. You can try and get away, you've tried for a year yet you will always come back to this life Dean. Try you might, but you'll always end up here in a world of angels and fate, you're a hunter Dean and Cas is an angel. No amount of running can change that."

"wrong answer you dick."

At that moment Dean pulled a gun from his jeans and shot Gabriel straight in the face, of course having no effect and merely laughed it of. The gun that Dean held firm in his hand by his side fell to the ground now completely out of ideas.

"and you say your a civilian yet you still carry a gun, huh. well you are getting rusty Dean, I'm an angel remember." Dean fell to his knees as if about to beg the smug angel for a way of helping his angel at home, "how can a year make so much difference to you Dean? You almost seem like an amateur."

A tear rolled down Dean's cheek as he wheezed out a sigh filled heart felt words.

"Please help Cas."

Gabriel chuckled cruelly to himself at the sight of dean looking so pathetic. The sound of Gabriel's laugh made Deans inside tighten as he felt sick and blood ran cold.

"Dean Please, like we care if Cas wants to play house. It's like a vacation you need one ever so often. And when you're dead and gone Castiel will come back feeling fresh and well rested from the time off work. Don't you get it? you're a passing fad and this baby? Well sometimes natures a bitch, not down to us."

With that he was gone, with a sharp unsettling slash of wings through the cold dusty air of the old church Dean was left alone unable to stop the tears.

Its wasn't true it couldn't be true what Cas and Dean shared was love at it's highest, pure and simple love and devotion, they were even getting married. it's not just a holiday for her, It can't be true but if it was…Dean choked out angry tears unable to finish his line of thought.

"I don't believe it."

Dean repeatedly mumbled to himself and it was another half an hour before he could muster the strength to get up and Dean had planned on leaving the church but leaned against the back of an old chair and fell into thought once more. It was a hand that shot Dean back into action, through instinct the hand that grabbed Dean's shoulder was hostile and needed taking down, but the being behind Dean was strong and prepared. Dean ended up in a stale mate with the dark figure in front of him, neither of them being able to take down the other.

"A year and you still haven't lost your touch." The figure said, just at the sound of his voice Dean felt everything inside in swirl and sink deep within himself, he almost peed himself through shock, the figure took a step forward and into the little light that lay in front of him and proved that it didnt matter if dean beilieved it because here he stood, but still Dean couldn't believe what he was seeing, it was like a miracle, some strange impossible miracle "hey Dean."

"Sam?"

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**Please review- they make me happy lol XD**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey guys, okay so i do have a reason for the sheer amount of months this story hasnt been updated, basicaly I saved everything of this story to my memory stick and I have searched and search and that memory stick is well and truly lost, so I had to write this chapter again.**

**hope you enjoy I'm sorry it's short xxx**

**please forgive any mistakes :)**

* * *

Dean couldn't believe his eyes, after wiping the tears from them to increase the quality of his vision he blinked several times and looked again. It was still Sam, his Sammy, his baby brother, his very dead baby brother, this cannot be real. Dean touched the face he's dreamt of seeing, every night since he lost his being felt real but that doesn't mean its really Sam, on the contrary it just means he's not imagining it, again. Dean's confusion overflowed to anger. He wanted to believe, he did, but he couldn't he saw Sam fall in the pitt this was impossible. After a few moments in silence Dean grabbed Sam by the jacket and slammed him against the middle column coursing an echo around the huge empty cold room.

"Dean it's me."

"Yeah, sure."

"I'll prove it."

"How?"

"Just let go Dean." Sam's voice was calming as he gently touched Dean hands and removed his grip. "look." Sam went through the ritual of silver, holy water, iron, salt, the lot. When he finished he looked to Dean, tears were streaming down his face.

"Sammy?" Dean weakly asked before grabbing the man again but this time pulling him into a hug, holding him tight so tight, how was this possible Dean didn't care his brother was back. Dean and Sam sat in one of the pews of the church they sat in silence Dean had so much to say but nothing could form itself into a sentence. So he merely sat and stared at his baby brother. "how is this possible Sammy?"

"I don't know."

"well think, how are you here?"

"I don't know Dean, I just woke up, here."

"What?"

"I don't understand it, just have to believe in miracles."

"There's no such thing Sam, if your back your back for a reason." There was silence, both brothers knew it was true, the last time a Winchester returned from the Pitt it was to fight for the apocalypse to be an angels meat suit, what ever this is its anything but good. "How long have you been back?" Dean asked expecting an answer of hours, days at the very most a week, the answer he got he didn't ever expect and broke his heart completely

"About a year."

"So, you've been back basically this entire time!"

"Yeah."

"And you haven't thought to come and see me earlier!"

"I know."

"It been a year Sam."

"I wanted to,"

"I thought you were dead, I thought you were in hell."

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to drag you away from your life Dean, you have a good life. A life you wanted."

"I wanted my brother Sam!"

"I'm sorry. If came back to you. You wouldn't keep your life, I know you Dean you would want to hunt. To find answers."

"no."

"Yes Dean, sick of the life, yes. But it's in your blood you can't deny it. You love hunting it's all you've ever known."

"No your wrong Sammy."

"really. So if I asked you to come with me now to find out who got me from the basement you wouldn't."

"No."

"Not even for your brother."

"That's not fair Sam. I have a life. The life I promised you, with Cas."

"And how's that going?"

"Peachy."

"Because the last I heard the angel was infertile. Your dreams of a kiddie are fading away day by day."

"Shut up."

"Come with me Dean. Help me."

"And what will I tell Cas, who by the way isn't doing so good thank you for asking. She's an emotional wreck!"

"Who's fault is that Dean? Who kept her female? who wanted a kid? who kept the angel out of heaven? Don't you think she'd be so much happier in heaven? Were angels belong." Dean had nothing to say back, no smart ass come back nothing he just sat there as a lone tear fell whilst he listened to every doubt that has been racking though his mind of late. "Cas doesn't need you, she's a angel immortal, full of grace, a supreme being. And you tie her to earth, to a two bed apartment, to a lazy town, to a human life, to you. How can you do that to her?"

Dean didn't know what to say, there was nothing he could, his mind as near exploding, he's just found out his brother is back from hell and has been for a year and he's speaking the truth, the horrid truth that has plagued Dean's mind, Cas does deserve better, who's he to keep an angel tethered they should fly and be free. "you know I'm right, leave now and she'll be free. Cas will thank you in the end Dean."

"Angels should fly free." Dean muttered motionless as two more tears fell. Sam nodded and helped Dean stand put an arm around his brother and led him out of the church. "but Cas…"

"Cas doesn't need you."

"she does, I know she does."

"You need her to need you, but she doesn't. come on."

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**TBC**

**this should be updated soon, hopefully you'll be a little suprised by the next chapter lol :)**

**please review and tell me what you think, once again sorry it's so short. xxx**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter (fingers crossed) :D**

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"Angels should fly free." Dean muttered motionless as two more tears fell. Sam nodded and helped Dean stand put an arm around his brother and led him out of the church. "But Cas…"

"Cas doesn't need you."

"She does, I know she does."

"You need her to need you, but she doesn't. Come on."

Sam led the poor and in shock ex hunter out of the abandoned house of god. Sam put Dean into the Impala and drove his brother back to his apartment building.

"Well? What do you say Dean. Come with me?"

"You come up Sam, have a beer and we'll talk."

"No Dean I have to leave town, now. I only had time to come and get you. I have leads and need answers, come with me."

"Sam I can't."

"You're going to choose an angel over your own brother!"

"No, I…" Dean paused, this had been one strange evening, very strange and draining all he wanted to do was curl up to Cas and sleep. The thought of Cas pulled Dean's mind to what was said earlier. "Do you think Cas is just vacating with me?"

"Well, maybe Gabriel has a point." Dean's eyes widened as he ran over the events of the very eventful evening in the most detail he could.

"Gabriel?" he repeated

"Yeah, he's a jerk but I'm sorry to say he does have a point."

"I never mentioned that son of a bitch." Dean said as his eyes narrowed as he examined the person in the driver's seat. Sam looked back and saw the new found doubt in Dean's eyes, after seeing the mistake he regrettably made Sam rolled his eyes and smirked at the ex hunter. His form changed; his hair lightened and became shorter, skin less smooth and subtle stubble appeared from his now slightly more tanned skin, Sammy's eyes disappeared and were replaced with a dick's. Dean anger over flowed completely and utterly there was no use to even try and conceal it, even if he tried he would have failed. Rage and wrath of betrayal and pain bubbled and heated furiously inside of him, and didn't think twice before sinking the magic knife into the son of a bitch's chest.

"Oh come on Deanio you really think that'll work." He smirked as he removed the bloodied knife and tossed it back to Dean as if he was begging him to try again, he knew he couldn't hurt the dick so tossed it to the floor of his baby. "You retire from hunting yet carry knives as well."

"Your sense of humour the sick Gabriel you know that!" Dean screamed as he took the guy by his collar and shook him a little in his seat, the man raised his hand and dean stopped his spoke smoothly and calmly.

"Calm down Dean."

"You dick! I will kill you!"

"Exactly how? Please have your temper tantrum but don't pretend you can hurt me." Dean sat there as his gripped was removed the cocky basted was right, anger soon left and sadness and pain washed over him, he really thought he had his brother back.

"How could you do that to me?"

"Quite easily actually."

"He's my brother!"

"And Cas is mine!"

"Where's Sam?"

"Same place he's been for months Dean."

"Months? What do you mean? He fell to hell a year ago."

"I never said he was in hell."

"What are you talking about!"

"Time and place Dean."

"What! But this is Sammy where talking about!"

"Wrong time, wrong place. Look I'm sorry if you got hurt Dean but I had to test you. I understand your love for your brother, so you can understand mine for Cas. She's in pain Dean I cannot allow it, not if I can prevent it. She will always be my brother. Just look how easy you were beginning to be convinced to leave her!"

"I wouldn't just leave Cas!"

"Well it's clear you have doubts."

"Yes Gabe I have doubts, that doesn't mean I would just leave. I know Cas has given so much to be with me, and I also know that I'm not some vacation for her you son of a bitch!"

"Well if you did leave tonight. Believe me I would have killed you, without a second thought. I wasn't lying you know, when I said angels have vacations. Were they settle down for a while. It's the closest we get to being human without falling, its more of time out from the front line, we can never grasp the concept of emotion, of love. Not really. Cas as you know did and is now, this is dangerous and I worry for her."

"I can handle it gab."

"Bollocks can you. You have destroyed Castiel."

"You're wrong."

"Really can you honestly tell me this is what she wants?"

"Yes." Dean spat out bluntly, Gabriel looked deep into Dean's eyes searching for truth, for the love he confesses to have for Cas, he found it. After nodding to him the angel decided to continue.

"I was telling the truth when I said natures a bitch sometimes, especially if you owe her money, though heaven hasn't helped Cas conceive it doesn't mean we can't."

"You can help?"

"Yes, but nothing like this has ever been attempted before so we don't know how this will work out, remember that. You were right you have given enough and we thank you Dean, both of you. Promise me you'll make my brother happy."

"I promise Gabe, I love him."

"Very well. Here." Dean was expecting a parcel or envelope something, instead Gabriel merely extending this fingers and after touching Dean's forehead the ex hunter opened his eyes to find that he's laying in his bed holding Cas in his arms, that was sleeping like the angel she is.

Dean was confused so very confused but after looking at the time and seeing it was three in the morning and a piece of paper in his hand saying 'time and place.' he concluded that he was pretty much Gabriel's bitch the ball was well and truly in that son of a bitch's court and besides Dean was exactly were he wanted to be, where he belonged. So after giving Cas a gentle kiss on the forehead he relaxed and drifted into well deserved dreams.

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**I know that Gabriel is dead at this point in the actual story, but i wanted him alive besides it fiction lol the next chapter will focus more on Cas' life and what she does now shes all domesticated lol :)**

**Please review :D xxxxx**


	21. Chapter 21

_**To my readers;**_

_**I would like to apologise for the fact that there will no longer be any more updates for this story.**_

_**I love writing and I love all of you; however I will no longer be around to continue to write. I have been struggling for a while and it's all become too much.**_

_**I am really sorry.**_

_**I have really enjoyed writing for you and I hope you have enjoyed reading my stories.**_

_**I guess I'll see you all on the flipside.**_

_**Live well. Be happy : )**_

_**Good bless**_

_**Nutmeg17**_

_**xxxx**_


	22. Chapter 22

**Heya sorry its been a loooong time XD**

**hope you like the chapter 3**

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Castiel woke the next morning and even before she even opened her eyes, she knew that once again, she was waking up to an empty bed. The angel hated it when Dean had the early shift and opened the garage.

As she cracked her eyes open she had a strange feeling, something was wrong.

Her angel/hunter instincts kicked in and she sat up in bed, hair falling in front of her face. Cas couldn't wait to not have long hair anymore. The angel wanted to cut it but this female form is her vessel and the angel didn't feel comfortable changing or cutting it. After brushing the hair away from her face her eye darted around the room.

After satisfying herself all was in order she flopped back down on her and Dean's bed. She placed a hand on her stomach, it didn't feel right and she looked down, it was huge. Her mouth fell open. The angel leapt out of bed and stared at herself in the mirror. As soon as she saw her reflection the angel let out a very human and very feminine scream.

Well not so human the mirror cracked in several places, the angel was out of breath she was angry confused and scared, her heavy breathing coursed all the light bulbs in the flat to smash. When she calmed down Cas slowly took off her pyjamas and stood in just her knickers looking into the broken mirror; gingerly touching her stomach, touching the bump, feeling it and refusing to believe what it looked it. It had to be a dream, a cruel horrible dream. She couldn't be pregnant, right?

Especially not this far along, she looked like she was ready to pop.

After half an hour of staring at her supposed 'baby bump' she had to sit down, her back and feet killing her, and when she sat she felt her boobs move with the movement, they felt and looked at least a size bigger, and the movement made her realise that her boobs and especially her nipples were incredibly swore. She slowly came to the conclusion she was in fact pregnant, but even more than pregnant she was pissed.

She had to throw up three times, none of her clothes fit, everything ached, she had stretch marks on her stomach, but most of all she was pissed that this was down to Dean. He must have done something, he had to have, there was simply no other explanation.

The angel pulled on a pair of leggings and one of Dean's more larger black Sabbath t-shirts, that usually drowned her and she tended to sleep in. the bump was still only barley contained, what annoyed her more was that none of her bras fitted, she couldn't wear a size smaller because it was too tight and hurt them and when she didn't wear one they hurt from lack of support. The angel decided to wear the biggest bra she had though it still hurt, going for pain and support then pain and no support at least they would look under control. She left her frustrations out a little as she brushed and tied back her hair and shoved on some shoes. She grabbed her bag and stormed out of the front door with the intention of going to the garage. Unfortunately as soon as the door closed she had to open it again and rush to the toilet for a pee, vomiting after for good measure, yeah she was really pissed.

It was 10:30 when Cas strolled into the entrance to the garage shop.

"Hello sweetheart. Can I help you?" the man behind the counter asked. Cas was a little shocked at the formality, everyone here knew her, as Dean's partner, he must be new she thought.

"You're new."

"Yeah."

"Right well, I want to see Dean." Cas told the guy, in no mood for chit chat already getting annoyed at the convosation, her hormones were really roller coasting at the moment.

"Ah well he's in the middle of a job at the moment but if you take a seat he'll be with you as soon as he can. Are you here for a car?"

"No I'm not, and he'll see me now." Cas told him before starting to walk towards the door, when the guy had the nerve to step in front of her, Cas really wanted to punch this guy.

"I'm sorry ma'am but customers cannot go through there."

"I am not a customer." She snapped back.

"I'm sorry, but-" the guy was cut of but a familiar African American 6ft man in dirty overalls and oily hands, Dean's boss, Cas liked him he had kind eyes and always had a smile for her.

"It's okay max. This is Dean's fiancé. Cassie, hi, how have you been?" He asked stepping fully into the shop, only just seeing Cas' baby bump. "Wow, okay I guess that answers my question. Dean never mentioned you were pregnant." He said as he walked over to the angel and kissed her cheek a gesture Cas did back. "Congratulations." He told her with a smile.

"Thank you Andy, Can I see Dean?" Cas was trying to be polite to him but he still had to see Dean, she needed answers.

"Of course, you are always welcome here, you know that." Cas smiled in thanks as she walked to the door, she didn't see the glare Andy shot the new guy.

"Dean! What the fuck have you done?" Cas shouting as loud as she could as she stormed into the work shop. Dean was under the hood of a random car, and jumped at the sudden noise, causing him to bang his head. The ex-hunter turned to see Cas, not just Cas but…Dean's mouth hit the floor as did the tool he was holding.

"…Cas?" He blurted out after finally being able to form words again.

"Plus one!" she shouted throwing her hands in the hair.

"You're…" this was a dream right? Dean thought, this couldn't be what it looked like!

"Yes. What did you do? What did this cost you?" she shouted pointing at the ex-hunter, absolutely fuming now.

"What? Nothing." Dean told her instantly he spoke through both shook and confusion.

"You think I wanted you to sell you soul, again!" Cas shouted even louder as she stepped towards her lover and shoved his shoulder. Their eyes locked and Cas felt her anger deflate, damn those eyes, she sighed before she continued, eyes now glued to the floor. "I know we wanted a baby, but not like this Dean." Dean took a small step forward so they were nearly toe to toe, as least they would have been if not for the bump. He cupped his hand around his angels face and rose it so her beautiful blues connected with green.

"Cas baby. What are you talking about? I promise you I didn't make a deal."

"You better be telling the truth Dean Winchester because I swear to god if you,"

"I promise." He told her and she believed him, Dean wouldn't lie to her. She stepped back a little out of his grasp before speaking again.

"Then how?" She pressed, Dean lowered his eyes but didn't answer. "Dean."

"Gabriel, might have offered his help." He stuttered sounding nervous before quickly shooting through his next sentence. "Don't be mad."

"Don't be mad? Don't be mad?" Cas said as Dean winced at her volume. "Dean do you know this means?"

"What?" he asked now even more nervous.

"We're having a baby." Cas said, rejoicing in the fact for the first time, Dean was beaming too, his smile nearly matching Cas' face splitting grin.

"We're having a baby" Dean repeated pulling Cas towards him and embracing her, with more care then he normally would. "I love you Cas."

"I love you too Dean." They two were so caught up in there loving embrace that they didn't register the undeniable sound of fluttering wings marking the entrance of an angel. They only realised they was someone else in the room was when a short shaggy haired man that smelt for one reason of another of rhubarb crumble wrapped his arms wrapped the couple.

"And I love you guys too!" he squealed in a typical over dramatic way. Dean and Cas froze and opened they eyes at the sudden intrusion.

"Gabe?" Dean asked in an annoyed tone that over flowed with the meaning of what the fuck are you doing?

"So, private moment?" Gabe asked through his smirk as he removed his arms. Cas and Dean now stood side by side hand in hand smiles playing on both their faces.

"Thank you." Cas told her brother putting her free hand on her baby bump. Gabriel smiled back and put his hand on her shoulder.

"You're my brother Cas, I could feel your pain. I didn't like it."

"So after all this time how do you like being pregnant? I mean your glowing." Dean asked.

"That's because I've been throwing up, it's sweet Dean." Cas snapped back, after a beat of silence Cas decided she shouldn't be the only one suffering and let loose. "I hate it! See I'm all emotional, I feel bloated, my feet hurt, my back hurts, my breasts are killing me! I've been throwing up, I have stretch marks and I always seem to need," Cas stopped mid sentence and sighed. "I need the toilet." She gritted out ad left the room, leaving a slightly stunned Dean and giggling Gabriel behind.

"Wow my pregnant hormonal brother is a real whiny bitch." Gabriel joked before receiving a swift punch to the arm. "Ouch." Gabriel whined with a pout.

"Thank you." Dean told him shuffling on his feet slightly not entirely sure what he should do. He wanted to hug him but they didn't really so that and a hand shake just seemed way too formal, thankfully Gabriel sensed it and wrapped his arms around the ex hunter for a swift manly hug.

"Just make them happy and you know, be happy yourself too."

"You're a good man Gabriel. You hide it well but you are."

"On the contrary I am a good angel, a great angel. In fact I am the best-"

"Okay, okay your modesty precedes you." Gabriel couldn't had but laugh at that, in which Dean joined him and they fell into semi awkward silence for a few beats waiting for Cas to return. "Gabriel."

"Hmm." Gabriel hummed as he looked around the room.

"About Sam."

"Not yet Dean." Gabriel snapped still not looking at him but the ex hunter saw a visible hardening on the usually relaxed angel's face.

"What does that mean?" Dean asked getting both annoyed and worried as he grabbed the angel by his shoulders.

"It means not yet. Just take solace in the knowledge that he is not in hell." Gabriel told him manner of factly as he removed Dean's hands away from him.

"Will I ever see him again?" he asked, desperate to see his brother.

"You will." Gabriel told him with softness in his voice that really didn't sound right, but Dean appreciated it nonetheless. "Take care of my brother and that baby you hear? And let me take care of everything else." Then without another word he swiped wings and flew from the room.

"Gabriel!" Dean shouted, not ready to let information of his brother fly away, though he didn't have a choice in the matter, Gabriel had gone. "Dammit." He muttered before hearing the door open and Cas walk in, despite Dean's mind still being confused and sad the sit of his angel with a baby was a sight he couldn't not smile at, Cas smiled back her hand moved to her stomach making Dean laugh a little. Dean approached her gave her a slowly gently lip before putting his arm around her and walking out the shop and drove her home, with the instructions to rest.

Dean and Cas still couldn't believe what was happening, it seemed it was all finally coming together.

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**please review and make my day :D**


	23. Chapter 23

**Heya :D **

**I would like to apologise for the lack of activity, but I am a full time uni student with two jobs ¬.¬ so I haven't really had time for anything lol any I found the basis on this chapter scribbled down when I was researching and note taking for my current assignment (its about how men and women are treated different within the criminal justice system, focusing on the victims of male and female rape) anyway, I thought I should write it up. So here it is, I hope you enjoy XD **

**In this chapter theres a time jump, it starts when Cas is seven and a hald months pregnent.**

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Cas was resting her swollen ankles on the coffee table as she mindlessly flipped through the channels, sifting through day time TV for something a least a little watchable. The angel finally settled on friends.

She stared at the TV as she mindlessly ran her fingers over her bump, finding the actions therapeutic. After a few minutes the cravings started again. "Dean?!"

"Yes?" he called from the kitchen, as he dried the last mug and placed it in the cupboard.

"Can I have some more please?" Dean smiled to himself as he entered the living room giving his lover a kiss on the top of her head before taking the empty bowl from the coffee table.

"One bowl of ice cream with gherkins coming up." Yeah she had some really awful cravings.

"Thank you."

"Anything for you sweetheart." Dean told his angel with a genuine smile on his face. "You're in luck; I just brought a new tub this morning." He told Cas as he handed in the disgusting contents of the bowl. She smiled and turned back to the TV as he took a bite.  
"What the hell is this?!" she screamed spitting out the remaining food she didn't swallow.

"Vanilla ice cream and gherkins." Dean told her as he came back into the room, eyeing her strangely.

"What kind of ice cream?" she asked putting her hand to her mouth, her stomach churned and she ran from the room, well she tried it was more of a quick waddle.

"I dunno" Dean said, hearing the bathroom door slam shut. "Does it matter?" his question was answered by the horrid sound of Cas throwing up and retching into the toilet basin. "Erm Cart-D'or I think."

"Dean!" Cas shouted through the door before she dry retched a few more times. "Any ice cream other than Haagen-Dazs and I puke!"  
"Sorry." The hunter told his angel, feeling embarrassed and bad for making his lover be sick.

"You should know this!" Cas shouted as he emerged from the bathroom again.

"I'm sorry, I'll go get more." he answered with a deep breathe trying not to get annoyed and grabbing his keys.

"Fucking useless!" he shouted again as her stomach twisted once more.

"I'm sorry!" Dean said, careful not to shout because he didn't want to stress his pregnant angel out, plus he knew how easy it was to make her cry and its not something he was willing to go through again.

"No, I'm sorry, I'm all snappy." She pouted and attempted to put her arms around her human, though it didn't work as well as she wanted due to the bump.

"Cas, you're seven and a half months pregnant, you are entitled to be snappy." He told her with a smile as he cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead, before leaning down and kissed the baby, making Cas chuckle a little.  
"What did I do to deserve you?" she said fondly, before they moved together so their lips met in a mutual chaste kiss.  
"You helped save the world?" he answered though knew there was no need. "I'll be right back."

"No, I'm coming with you, you'll just get the wrong one again, beside I'm sick of this house, and I want fish cakes."

"You hate fish." He stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. This made Cas stop stock still and turned to glare at Dean.

"You think if I didn't have this thing inside of me, I'd snack on ice cream and gherkins!"

"Alright, alright. Let's go."

"Don't snap at me!" Cas snapped back as they left, Dean careful not to say anything else and resisted the urge to roll her eyes, as they approached the car.

Neither spoke during the short journey to the store; it wasn't an angry silence, merely a comfortable silence that was verging on uncomfortable during to the words last spoken. When Dean parked the impala they sat in silence for a few moments.

"Sorry." Cas told him, feeling slightly embarrassed at her outbursts.  
"Don't be" he looked at his love, with adoration in his eyes before lending over and gently pulled Cas face and they kissed again, gentle and loving. "I love you. Hormones and all."

"Love you too."

They walked into the store hand in hand Cas' free hand on her belly and Dean's carry the basket. They wondered around the store just like any other couple, it was perfect on some levels and completely surreal on others. Considering who they were, what they've seen and done, everything that's happened in their lives and their shopping for the angels weird cravings, for their miracle angel/human baby. Everything led them to here, to now and it was perfect, almost. Dean couldn't help but feel guilty for being so happy and so in love when Sam was god knows where. It's been months since Gabriel's last visit in the garage, he's had no news so he assumes everything okay but he needs Sam for his life to be truly perfect but with Cas and their baby it was pretty damn near.

"Ahh." Dean was retched from his musing by Cas startling gasp. He instantly tensed and ran on instinct and went to the defensive to protect his family, then he saw the problem, a middle aged women was trying to feel Cas' baby bump. Its quite a common occurrence for pregnant women, but the angel hadn't been out much. Completely transfixed keeping the baby alive, safe and healthy she had spent much of her pregnancy inside, therefore this for all she knew was some kind of attack. He placed a hand at the small of his angels back and gave the women a calm smile.

"She just wants to feel the baby."

"Why? It's not her baby." Cas said confused, Dean stifled a laugh and lent in to whisper.

"Just go with it." Cas nodded to the women and with a heart beat her hands were on Cas' belly, making her feel uncomfortable but the genuine smile on the strangers face calmed her, sure the women didn't mean harm.  
"Girl or boy?" the women asked eyes finally parting from Cas' baby bump.  
"Don't know yet." The angel answered, they decided that a surprise would be best, a beautiful perfect surprise.

"How will you get a nursery ready? It's not like you can just snap your fingers and get it done." She started to rant at them like some over proactive relative, it was strange. They caught each others eye when she mentions the click of the fingers, because hey angel, but wisely kept quiet. "Is it your first?"

"Yeah." Dean beamed wrapping the hand on Cas back around her fully.

"Excited?"

"Immensely."

"I remember my first. It's going to be a moment you will never forget."  
"The miracle of life." Cas stated because she agreed.  
"Well that, but mainly the pain. No man will ever feel such pain." Cas' stomach dropped, she hadn't really thought about it. "Anyway, I better go. Good luck with the baby." With that she left, and Dean could feel the angel tense beside him.

"Dean."

"Yeah?"

"is it true what she said about the pain?" Dean grimaced.

"Yeah, afraid so."

"Dean." Cas said after they began walking again and found the ice cream.

"Hmm?" Dean answered as he put the correct brand in the basket.

"You have the baby."

"What?" he said unsure he heard right.

"You have it." He had to laugh at that.

"It doesn't work that way. Besides you're angel, you will barely feel it." Dean knew as soon as he spoke he said the wrong thing; the scowl was back on Cas' face.

"Dean, you never listen to me, when I give birth I have to temporarily hide my grace to protect the baby. I'll be giving birth as a normal human women."

"You'll be fine Cas. People give birth all the time."

"Yes, I am aware of that Dean, but I don't."

"Cas, it'll be fine as soon as you look down at that pink wrinkly face of our baby. It will all be worth it. We'll be parents." Dean assured her giving her a peck on the cheek. The angel let out a breath, calmed slightly by Dean's words.

"Yeah, I can't wait."

"You know what I can't wait for?"

"What?"

"You, burning that spell and I get my holy tax accountant back."

"Hmm." Cas agreed, they shared an loving embrace, the angel couldn't stop the smile appearing on her face, her worries about giving birth almost forgotten, almost.

"Come on, let's get your fish cakes."

_**A month and a half later. **_

"I hate you! This was your idea!" Cas screamed at Dean as the pain was enveloping her.

"Ok miss Novak, just breathe" the midwife told the women that was holding her partner by the scruff of his t-shirt, still screaming at the poor man.

"I am breathing!" she screamed at her.

"Cas, Cas it's going to be okay." Dean soothing stoking her red tear streaked face.

"It hurts." She whined, the angel had never looked so small and pathetic, it was heart breaking.

"I know but,"

"No buts Dean!"

"Nurse can't you give her something for the pain." Dean almost begged.

"Afraid not, its almost time to push."  
"AHH!" she turned her attention back to Dean as even more pain was coursing through her. "YOU DID THIS TO ME!"

"It's time to push."

"AHH!"

"Come on Cas, you doing great."

"One more Cassandra"

"Fuck!" she screamed, over and over, she knew it would be worth it but right hurt so fucking much!  
"You're crowning." The mid wife informed them, it would be over soon.  
"I'm dying!"

"It's coming Cas, you can do it baby." He held her hand and kissed her forehead in an attempt to help, but was sure nothing much could at this point.

"AHHH!" and then a beautiful sound rang throughout the room and it was over, they had a baby.

"It's a boy. Cas look, it's our son." Dean had unashamed tears in his eyes as he spoke, Cas was on her back panting, her eye were filled with tears as well, that now weren't from pain, as they held each others hands and looked upon there son, as the midwife held him up for them to see.

"Our son." Cas breathed, resting her head against Dean's. "Dean we're parents." He nodded in reply, as they tears continued to fall.

"Dean would you like to cut the umbilical cord?" the mid wife spoke, her warm harm at the scene of two people so in love.

"Yes ma'am." He answered. Once he had and the baby was checked and wrapped in a soft blanket he was handed to his father, the midwife left the room to give the new parent's a moment alone.

"Hello cutie" Dean cooed at his son and sat next to Cas who stroking the baby's face.

"He's perfect" the angels whispered, smile almost too wide for her face, Dean was right it was worth it.

"What are we going to name him?" Dean asked as they continued to stare at what they created.

"Sam." Cas stated, Dean took in a breathed shocked in the most wonderful way.

"Cas, I don't know what to say." He breathed.

"it couldn't be anything else." Cas told him as she took her son from Dean's arms and held him for the first time, fresh tears bursting from her eyes.

"I love you so much." Dean told her kissed Cas gently.

"I love you too."

"And I love you Sammy." Dean kissed his baby on the forehead. "I wish he was here." He mumbled.

"Me too." The angel agreed she looked up to her other half and spoke with nothing but truth. "He would be so proud of you Dean."

"He would be proud of both of us." A nurse came in soon after to cheek on them.

"Nurse can you send them in?" she nodded and left to let their family member in to see the new addition to their family. A few minutes later Bobby, Jo and Ellen entered the room, Jo was already in tears though no one would call her on it.

"Hey guys. This is Sam." Dean said and instantly everyone's heart swelled, the name was perfect. They spent hours taking it in turns to hold the baby, taking pictures and by the end everyone was in tears. It was perfect.

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**They have a baby!**

**Little baby Sammy! N'AW lol :D **

**i dont know where ice cream and gherkins came from, it sounded really disgusting so decided on it lol**

**anyway please review.**


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